Harvey - Diary of a house bunny

Not good news

2012-02-13T06:08:00.012Z

There's going to be a new vaccine for me later this year. They have combined my myxie jab with the VHD so it will protect me from both horrible diseases.
The trouble is, I don't have the VHD vaccination because it makes me quite poorly. I used to get a very high temperature which lasted for days and I didn't feel like eating or drinking and everybody was worried. My vet said because there was no VHD close to us and as I'm a house rabbit I didn't need to have it until he knew the disease was coming to my area then he would let us know. Anyway, I won't have a choice from now on. I expect they will take good care of me so I'm not going to worry until it happens.

I'm making a list of special treats to have if I'm not very well. Mashed banana with sugar will be number one then maybe crunchie nut cornflakes and then digestive biscuits. I bet they won't let me have them, because they'll say it will be bad for my teeth but I can dream.One thing's for sure, I will get a bedtime story about my favourite Tom Kitten.

It's a rabbit!

2012-02-03T10:58:00.015Z

The day isn't going well. Here I am,just getting ready for my afternoon snooze when some people come to the house to collect things for a raffle. They haven't been before and they spot me under the table.
"Oh, look, it's a rabbit!"

"Yes," agrees J. She's heard this before.

"That's unusual isn't it? A rabbit in the house. Where does it live?" (IT?)

"He's a house rabbit. He lives wherever he wants to."

They are country people and still don't understand so she explains again."He lives like a cat."

"Doesn't he run away when the door's open?"

"No, he doesn't like going out much unless we're gardening, then he might. If it's warm."

I think the penny is beginning to drop but they keep on digging.

"Um, doesn't he make a mess? You know, rabbits do don't they?"

J tries again."He has a litter tray, like a cat. Sometimes there are bits about the place.

This is getting personal so I turn my back, flop out, yawn and close my eyes.

"Do you let it wander all over the house?" (Still, IT)
"He used to but we don't let him go upstairs since his hernia trouble. The climbing could make it worse.."
"Hernia, in a rabbit, oh wow!"
I snore loudly.
"It's SNORING!" They make embarrassed giggles of disbelief. Hey, spot on, I think.
"Yes," J agrees. He does a lot of that."
They shake their heads. "A snoring rabbit with a hernia. Well! That's a first."

They pick up the raffle prizes and leave. I don't bother going to the door to see them off. I don't even open my eyes. I snore loudly again.

"Hush, Harve," J says waspishly. "Don't be so rude."

Me? Rude? Me? That's rich.

I'd forgotten.

2012-02-02T07:18:00.010Z

My cardboard roll is back again thank goodness. I thought I'd lost it. I'd looked behind the sofa and my curtain hideaway and had just about given up when there it was, in the middle of the floor in front of the TV where I usually flop out. Best of all, it still had bits of carrot inside!
It took me a moment or two to remember how to flick one end up in the air then look to see what had fallen out. To start with I thought my carrot came out from the end I flick but then realised I have to go to the other end where it falls out.
Because of my little problem with, you know, not recycling my caecotrophs, I thought they might have decided not to give me any treats in the evening so I'd be squeaky clean the next morning. They tried not giving me anything but hay. They tried everything but I just won't do it. My magazine, Rabbiting On should have a piece about my problem in the Spring edition. Also, since my hernia, I'm not allowed to jump up onto the sofa to see if they are nibbling anything I might like. They think it might be too much of a strain
I wonder if they have remembered about my screwed up paper towel with one or two raisins inside? I haven't seen that for ages. That makes for a very good scrabble. Must try to drop one or two hints.

Is it Spring?

2012-01-27T09:51:00.011Z

I'm in a digging mood. It's great. I can scatter my litter yards from my tray while I find just the right place to use. Normally I just give a gentle scrabble before I settle but for some reason at the moment I want to throw it in the air as high as I can. Because I've been giving my litter a lot of attention they wondered if I might have cystitis but I haven't. It's just exuberance.
It's the same with my bed. Usually a bit of a tug and scrabble gets it into place but just now I want to toss my cuddle blankets as high as I can, all over the place.Wheeee! My hay bag is the best though. You can see below what a grand effort I make every evening. I don't give up until it's practically flat.

It's very good exercise for me but there's something else I just can't put my paw on. I feel a bit more excited and there's something at the back of my mind and deep inside telling me I need to re-organise things in preparation for something. Problem is, I don't know what.
While I'm waiting to find out I'll tackle my greens. Can I get through it all? Course I can.

Every picture tells a story.

2012-01-17T11:01:00.008Z

I'M IN !

IT'S ALL GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN.

IS THAT ENOUGH?

SHORT NAP TO GATHER MOMENTUM AGAIN.

FINISHED !!! PERFECT.

Another New Year

2011-12-28T13:13:00.003Z

Another New Year but I'm not going to make any resolutions. There isn't much I want to change at my age, things are very comfortable as they are. My food is good apart from carrots being a bit thin on the ground. Carrot tops makeup for it a bit but they're not as sweet and crunchie.I was going to resolve to make more fuss at bath time every morning but it wouldn't make any difference - it would still happen. I know I feel fresh and ready for the day when it's over but I really hate the idea of it. I quite like the feel of warm water and it's only at one end after all. I just can't reach to clean myself so I know it has to be done. I just close my eyes and think of dandelions.
"He's bulbous at one end" pronounced my vet during a recent visit. Huh, he can talk!
I'm pretty perfect in every other way though.

Jingle Bells

2011-12-18T10:26:00.009Z

Oh no! It's that sprouts and jingle bells time again. Why won't they believe I hate sprouts? I tell them over and over again by tossing them out of my veggie dish. They put one in, I throw it out. They put another in. I toss it out.
Jingle bells are even worse. All that banging on the piano is horrible.

I always drop a big hint by dashing into the room and sitting beside it but it never works. Have they forgotten rabbits hate loud noises.?It's lucky I'm a bit deaf. My vet says lop eared buns are more likely to be a bit deaf because of the shape of ear canals and the lop. More likely to get abscesses as well. We can't clean the canal out with a back toenail, not that I'd like to do that. Mind you, we're all a bit deaf in this house but nobody else has the excuse of being lop-eared.
There is some good news though, we have found a new home for a house rabbit somebody had put out into the street. How can people do that? How do they expect a bunny to find food on a hard street on its own? It will now have a little girl to love it and a cosy house for Christmas. I am so thankful because I am too old to bond with another rabbit. I wonder what I will get this year? I've had my first Christmas card already. I can't see a Santa on it anywhere but it looks very cheerfull.A very happy Christmas to all my friends.

Feet

2011-11-12T09:34:00.006Z

Some things are more important to a house rabbit than to a hutch rabbit. Feet for instance. If I had to pick out one of the most important things in my life it would be feet. I keep an eye on feet most of the day except when I'm asleep. Feet can tell you exactly what is going on in your house. You know where your family is going and why. You know if they head for the door, they're going out and you can snooze in peace. If feet go to the utility room it's always worth a quick check in case the fridge and carrots are involved. If they go into the big room they will put the TV on and it's time for me to get a good seat in between my hay bag and the screen. Doorways are a great place to feet-watch.

Hands will be more important to a hutch rabbit because they bring bowls of food and water and clean out the place. Now, I'm not too keen on hands. They tend to pick you up and check things out. Nope, I'm a feet man myself.

One of Life's Luxuries

2011-11-11T09:16:00.007Z

Now, after being rated as a lot of trouble, I'm being called a luxury.
They are saying I cost over £500 a year to keep and that's without holidays at Bunny Hops and without replacement cuddle blankets and dozing mats. I think that's quite cheap and I try my best to keep costs down by not eating much hay. They seem to forget I don't need a hutch or a run outside so there isn't heating and cleaning to deal with there. Well, you have to help where you can.
Another worrying thing is the reduction in time given to me for secretarial work. The other day I found out why. She's writing a book about me. I can't believe the secrets in my diary won't be secret any more. I've told her writing is easy but getting people to read it isn't. I feel very let down though. A diary is such a personal thing. It's nobody else's business. What about my problems with, you know, my bathroom problems? People will know I get a bit scared going to the vet and being left alone outside. You think you know people, you think they love you and are your best friends and then..............
I'm upset and intend to stay in my security spot until I feel better.

Because

2011-10-24T18:27:00.009+01:00

They're putting more dozing mats under the kitchen table for me now Autumn is here. That means more work they say. More to keep clean. If they don't put them down I sleep on the rug and leave a few raisins lying about. I don't do it on purpose, it just sort of happens.
So now, apart from these extra dozing mats I have,

Two litter trays,

A spare bed with blankets and my teddy in it in the utility room,

More mats there,

My bowls for greens, water and crunchies which have to be washed daily,

A large cardboard box in the sitting room with three kinds of hay and a chewy mat that drops bits,

My cuddle-cum-scrabbling blankets which have to be washed regularly, then I have to be brushed and clipped and cuddled.

Why all this work for one small rabbit you ask?

Because I'm worth it of course!Finally, if I can sneak up without anybody knowing, this is my favourite spot on an chilly, Autumn afternoon. Nice and squidgy. I think I've got things sorted.

Holidays

2011-08-31T10:23:00.016+01:00

Packing is the worst bit of a holiday. I never know what to take or what to leave behind so I end up taking everything. My stool is the most important thing because I need to sleep underneath something with legs. I can't take my kitchen table so my stool is the next best thing.
I love Bunny Hops and feel a bit bored now because there's not much to look at here. You know what it's like after a holiday, things go sort of flat.
I miss my two neighbours, Jasper and Bobtail the velvet Rex rabbits. They were just a few months old but quite entertaining. In the apartment on my other side were two guinea pigs, Champagne and Sparkle and they never stopped talking. You should have heard the squeaks! I couldn't understand a word. There was no reason to natter all the time. They had a beautiful set up like mine. If they had watched me they might have learned how to behave in a quiet, sensible manner.

Other holiday makers didn't seem to take as much stuff as I did. I like my own things around me which probably made more work for Julie but I was happy. We have our own radio at Bunny Hops. It's nice to have a bit of background music.
I went outside into the garden while my bed was being made and my breakfast organised and quite enjoyed it, There were garden flats for outside rabbits so I had a good look round.
I'm going again next month. I know they'll be pleased to see me again. I'm probably their favourite.

Harvey Van Gogh

2011-08-20T07:21:00.012+01:00

I've had a request from George to display my latest art work. As you know, I design cardboard boxes and frill armchair covers but I have now gone into mixed media. My friend Lennie and his mum know all about arty stuff and will appreciate my latest wall hanging.

Post-office-Margaret in my village has already asked for the next one I finish. She has very special cats which win silver cups so it is an honour for me, as a rabbit, to be appreciated.
The carpet fringe is an on-going piece of design work. It has to be sucked and nibbled for weeks to get rid of the actual tight fringe set up before I can pull it into shape. As you can see, it's a very exhausting job so I need a rest now and again.

They say all rabbits need a bonded partner. I don't agree. If you live with another rabbit you don't develop your originality and artistic bent. You spend time chatting to them about rabbit stuff instead of moving on to higher things and allowing your imagination to spread in other directions.

My family is very good about encouraging my talents. They give me stuff to work on. I'm busy with another chewy mat at the moment. Chill and chew I say.

In case you missed my other work here it is as well as my new stuff. I might send it all to the Academy of Modern Art. There's a bloke there who stuffs sheep. Disgusting. I could teach him and Tracey Emin a thing or two.

Got to get to work.

Garden bunny

2011-08-15T11:43:00.008+01:00

I went outside today but there wasn't much going on in the garden. That blackbird has started knocking figs off the tree.He thinks he owns the place. He can't go on the plum tree any more because the wasps have taken it over and they're drunk.

I don't blame him really. He has raised three litters this year because we have been so generous with chopped grapes for the babies. MY chopped grapes! He needn't think he can move in with me in the winter. He already sits on the half door and poops inwards onto the porch floor to leave his mark. It's purple poop at the moment. Being a rabbit I'm an expert on poop.

But not an expert on gardens Harve! I have to carry you out each day for you constitutional, and shove your nose into the herbs and flowers so you can smell them. I only counted to 45 this morning before you ran for home after I put you down. Why? It's a beautiful day and it's so peaceful. You are now busy cleaning the smell of fresh air from your fur!! Weird bun.

Unloved?

2011-06-30T17:36:00.024+01:00

I haven't written in my diary for ages. Nobody has taken any notice of me for weeks and weeks. Oh, they gave my my food and water and stuff but they don't love me the way they did before the duck invasion.
You might remember that duck came back. She lost all her babies and came back and laid some more eggs.
There were 10 ducklings this time and "we".......not me..............decided to keep them until they were strong enough to walk down the lane to the lake.
Well, we had them for three and a half weeks and you have never seen such fat things on two skinny legs with huge flat feet.

It was Disney World here for them. They ate chick crumbs every couple of hours, washed them down with fresh water, dashed manicaly about the garden, nibbled everything in sight including MY carrot tops, pooped all over the yard, plopped in and out of the pond, fell down the side of the oil tank and had to be fished out with the pond net. Even my hay was given to them for a bed underneath the garden seat up against the house wall. It was mayhem and they got all the attention.It went on and on and they grew bigger and fatter by the day.

Then, three days in a row their mother escaped into the big garden with them. Great, I thought, Molly the cat next door will get them but they came back each day for lunch, slept over, ate like horses then escaped again for good.

After that I went on holiday to Bunny Hops while my lot had a few days rest at the seaside.
Bunny Hops is my very favourite place in the world. I was fussed and cuddled and had a bedtime story every night. I took all my own stuff so it was home from home. Naturally they loved me. I needed to leave lots of my raisins about my run to make it really mine because there were one or two other rabbit about but I don't think Julie minded too much. She texted my lot twice each day and sent pictures to them. I'm going again in two or three weeks. Can't wait. There is so much going on there to entertain me.

It's all a matter of technique

2011-06-01T16:22:00.011+01:00

First of all you scrabble your front legs about in the bag opening. Once you've made a hole you scrabble them a bit more until you get yourself most of the way in. Then, this is the best bit, you pull your back legs up to your front legs then KICK backwards with a quick flip until the hay flies out behind you in a storm, then you do it again and again and again. Simple. There you are,deep inside the sweet smelling hay bag and nobody has the faintest idea where you've disappeared to. Magic. Then you grab what you came for because the sweetest bit of hay is always at the bottom of the bag. Out you come with a flourish, nibble it until it's gone then back you go again right to the bottom.
Once you're in there you can't hear a thing. There's bound to be somebody saying, just look at the mess that rabbit's making! Won't he ever grow up?

Ouch!

2011-05-19T15:43:00.028+01:00

That duck has just bitten me! She has a huge mouth.. All I did was wander over to see what she was eating and she pecked at me. They still put tasty looking food down for her and I wanted to try it. She's getting uppity because she has laid more eggs but we don't know where. She must know she will never get the babies out from here nor from next door because they have walls and fencing all round to keep their dog in. She is one of the most silly things I have ever known. At least the cats and dogs I have lived with had more sense and didn't lay eggs around other people's gardens. It's the ducklings I feel sorry for. Poor little things.

J is worrying now in case I catch some disease. She doesn't use a litter tray you know. The duck I mean.Not J. Messy creature.

Still, I'm feeling more important than that duck because I have a double page spread in the latest Rabbiting On magazine. I'm a celeb and I didn't have to be skinny to do it.
That pesky blackbird is still nagging for grapes and sultanas. Has nobody told him about worms?Worms are for blackbirds, grapes and sultanas are for rabbits. Now he has a baby as well and has brought it onto my patch.

Don't look down at me like that. I'm not going to give you any of my grapes.

Jamais plus.

2011-05-04T20:51:00.011+01:00

I can't remember the last time I cried but I can't stop at the moment. All the babies are dead. They didn't make it to the lake. Twelve little beaks and twenty four little flat, webbed feet. They must have fallen behind her one by one and she wouldn't have known. All the pleasure they had in life was a dip in a drop of water in an old Swiss roll tin in the garden and the sun on their faces for a couple of hours.

She's back here again with the two drakes and they have forgotten. I wish I could.

If the drakes are still fertile she could produce another brood. I hope she doesn't.

I wish I had forced them into a carrier and taken them myself.

I wish...................

Would you believe it, those ducks are back. Just as I was going out of the back door for a breath of fresh air she arrived on the step begging for food. Huh! When can a rabbit have his garden to himself!

A Right Royal Occasion

2011-04-29T11:59:00.021+01:00

It's a boy! It's a girl........................................

I'm an uncle at last to 12 adorable ducklings. They don't have names so I've called them all Harvey. My lot wanted to name them after some of the plants in the garden, Bluebell, Forget-me-not, Parsley, Rose and so on but I prefer something simpler. Harvey One through to twelve seems much more sensible.

I knew they would be the best ever because they belong to me. Even the two drakes came down for the first outing.

None of them wanted to go .......

..... but after playing around and drying off for a couple of hours or so, we herded them across the paddock.......

.......past the pigsty and into the farmer's field.

When she got them all through the gap she turned and quacked at us before she set off for the lake.

Oh, well, I've got my garden back even if the cantankerous blackbird is still around. He must be well stuffed with my raisins by now.

What wedding?

We were amazed at the attention of the drakes having been led to believe they opted out once the duck began to brood. They have remained at her side to the end.

Easter Bunday

2011-04-24T09:14:00.013+01:00

And I'm the Easter bunny! Yea, I'm in the Pets Corner for Easter Sunday in the Telegraph! Not the Puddleby-on-the-Marshduck Telegraph but the BIG Sunday Telegraph. It's all about me, me , me.

There'll be one jealous duck in my garden take my word for it.

I sent them two photographs but they only used one of them. The other was a magnificent picture of one of my very best caecotrophs, the biggest ever. Maybe they thought nobody would want to look at it while they were eating their toast and drinking their coffee. Can't think why not. Mind you, they got it wrong about me living in a town too. I'm a Shire rabbit through and through. Open skies, dusty lanes, songbirds, ducks....................Ducks? Did I say ducks? Oh, carrots!!Anyway, for my family, friends and fans out there, here's the missing photo.

Jealous?

2011-04-19T07:38:00.006+01:00

It's all about ducks here so I'm huffing. It's "Is she off her nest yet?" "Has she come down for food this morning?" "Have the boys come to see her today?" It's ducks, ducks, ducks, nothing but ducks.

I went outside yesterday to check for myself. It's my garden for goodness sake even though I don't bother much with it. You can't cover everything if you're a house rabbit but that doesn't mean I want other folk in there poking their noses into my affairs.

I prepared a few scrapes ready for my carrots, did a good bit of trimming the flat leafed parsley and checked out one or two of the borders but didn't spot or smell her. She must be well hidden. There was nobody in the pond either. I'll be glad when those chicks hatch and we can get back to me being centre stage. Can't be too long now for goodnss sake. She's making a real meal of this giving birth. We rabbits find it so easy.There's never this sort of fuss with does.

2011-03-28T09:32:00.020+01:00

Harve is sitting by the back door repelling mallards. He stamps his back foot which has no effect whatsoever on the ducks. They are from the gravel lake down the lane or maybe the nearby river and are familiar with rabbits. They are not fazed. The female has decided this is the place to lay her eggs as she did last year and her two henchman have no say in the matter.Two? One has a limp and is guarding her more with hope than conviction that he is the father. They stick closely together and follow her every move. She seems to have forgotten the cottage garden is walled and although she can fly in, her chicks will not be able to fly out. Maybe she assumes we will open the gate just at the right moment. Whatever her instinct has told her she feels this is a familiar and safe haven.

We feed them once a day with corn and in return she has cleared the duck weed from the pond. The drakes quack as they eat while she sings contentedly on the same note.

Once she has layed her eggs and is sitting on them, her devoted husbands will leave her to it and return to the lake having done their duty by her. Hopefully our daily bonding will help us to assist her return the quarter of a mile down the lane to the lake to take her chance with her babies when the shooting season starts again. We can do no more.

She's been writing in my diary again and missed the bit where I chased the squatters up to the pond! Harve the Hero saves the day! Does that duck really believe she will be able to fit 12 ducklings in there with her?

Sunbeams and Seaside

2011-03-20T15:02:00.004Z

It's sunbeam time again. I can't think why anyone would want to shiver outside when you can have your own sunbeams in your own kitchen and under your own table-hutch. Mmm it's the best.

They've been away for a few days but I didn't miss them. Had to go to the vet for my usual shave before they went but I didn't mind much. I feel a bit cooler now. I ignored them when they came back, didn't bother to get up because I was much too cosy and tired. After an hour or so I joined them and leapt about and binkied in case they had forgotten who I am.

I've been invited to go with them next time they go to the seaside as long as I don't leave any bits about the hotel. I wouldn't do that in a strange room anyway. I like to keep other peoples' places tidy. The trouble is they allow dogs to stay which wouldn't be any good for me so I won't bother. My best friend Pauline wouldn't want me to go because she loves me and looks forward to keeping me company and sorting my food and other comfort stuff for me. Anyway I get more sleep when I'm on my own and time passes very quickly.

Bobbing for broccoli.

2011-02-19T12:55:00.016Z

It might be because my lot are growing old or maybe its me but it's getting harder to teach basic essentials. Broccoli for instance. Look at this. Now, I call this a hint. Broccoli in water bowl means I don't want broccoli in my greens dish. If I don't want broccoli in my greens dish I don't want broccoli anywhere. I eat the stuff I like first then what's left I nibble because it's there and I might as well clear the bowl. But not broccoli.

Now, pea tops are good. Along with celery leaves,parsley and carrot tops, they are first on the list to attack .Cabbage, well, yes but it comes at the end of the queue and is eaten when everything else has gone. Spring greens are good if they are springy. I don't like them if they flop about.

I heard them telling someone they have to make soup out of the floppy greens left in the fridge because I don't like them. What's wrong with that? I get first pick, they eat the rest. That's the whole idea isn't it?

My friend Paris- Mimi says George Bush Senior hated broccoli as well. Yea!

Harve eventually bobbed for the broccoli. It disappeared anyway.

The Year of the Rabbit

2011-02-10T09:52:00.016Z

The Chinese are my sort of people.They dedicate every year to an animal and 2011 is the year of the rabbit. Not that every other year is not dedicated to me. The downside of this seems to be an increase in recipes of you-know-what pie, or so my lot tells me. Some people seem to think it's funny to suggest putting me in a pot. You would not believe the number of times I've overheard that comment from my den under the table. Not only do they think it's funny but they think they are the first one to say it.
I suppose I repeat myself too but that's because I have trained everybody to react to certain instructions and these have to be the same every time otherwise they might not get the message.Sitting on the edge of the kitchen rug means I want a bit of carrot or banana. I do it every morning. Nudging feet under the table means I want a bit of what you're eating please or, stop using the computer because I need a cuddle now. You all know about staring at a door until somebody opens it and growling when I don't want to be picked up and stamping my foot when I enter a room in case they don't spot me on stage.
Maybe this will be the year when everybody in the world will at last understand that we rabbits are intelligent, loving, helpful, companiable animals who must not be imprisoned in a hutch for life. It won't happen of course because the human race is a destroyer of everything good and noble. It can't even make sure rabbits have a hutch at least six feet by two feet by two feet and then a good sized run to play in. Is that so difficult to understand?

A HUTCH IS NOT ENOUGH.

I might write to that lady in a red coat and ask her to hit people with her handbag if they keep rabbits in small hutches.

I'm in a spot of bother I did my Geronimo jump off the sofa and my lump came up again. It doesn't bother me though. It will go down soon.

Mafeking relieved.

2011-02-02T07:15:00.005Z

This is a special news flash for my diary and all who read it. All is well. Panic over.I tore a muscle and a lump came up. It was only a traumatic hernia after all. I knew I felt ok. I saw both my rabbit specialists, Kim as well as Simon who had come in on his crutches so I had a second opinion at the same time.. They said it would not be advisable to mend it because it would be like trying to stitch tissue paper to butter so I am to take it easy and not do any more Geronimo jumps off the sofa for the time being. Mmm, will I be able to resist?

We companion animals are very sensible about these things on the whole. Fortunately we don't need to go hunting for food so we can rest. I don't binkie much at my age anyway. Binkying is for younger rabbits.

Thank you all for your kind wishes.

The chewing hobby.

2011-01-23T14:37:00.013Z

There's something going on in my neck of the woods.They have discovered a lump in my groin and you'd think the world was coming to an end.It doesn't bother me in the least. I can run, jump and do all my other things like cleaning myself all over and scrabbling on the sofa but they have gone into a fits of gloom. M thinks it's a hernia, well I am an elderly guy like him but it seems rabbits who have been, you know, snipped and pruned don't get them on the whole. Anyway, he's just a people doctor and doesn't know about rabbits so it means a visit to the vet on Tuesday. We can't go any sooner because Simon, my specialist vet broke his leg skateboarding in Australia over Christmas and isn't working at the moment. I'm going to have words with him about the knack of growing old gracefully when I see him. Honestly. Humans!! Fortunately his wife, Kim will be there so I am going to see her.

The locum is probably a good chap but I will only consult a rabbit specialist and my lot would never ever allow a non rabbit specialist to give me an anaesthetic. What a muddle. I'm not in the least bothered because I know I feel fine.

My friends Spike and Poppy are in trouble. They have learned how to escape from their overnight den and sleep in the living room by the fire. Somebody had chewed through the fireside rug overnight and they got the blame. Nobody can swear they saw them do it but it's easier to blame Spike and Poppy than Edward who only has one tooth.

House rabbits have a lot to put up with as far as chewing goes. I wouldn't say I have been responsible for much damage in my house. I chewed a bit of the wood on the TV cupboard because the doors were closed and it was time for the Simpsons, frilled the edge of the sofa arm cover trying to dig a burrow to hide in just in case I needed an escape route in a hurry and neatened the carpet fringe a smidge but nothing that didn't need doing.

Unlike cats we rabbits have a very important reason for chewing. If we didn't our teeth would grow much too long and we would need to have them filed down. Ugh. Now my pen pal, half-a-tail Mimi has had to call the electrician in Paris on several occasions to repair the table lamps and the computer but I haven't done anything like that. She looks quite innocent but definitely has a strong chewing streak.

And take dogs. Labradors in particular. Chew? If rabbits hadn't invented chewing, Labradors would.

Nope, rabbits have chewing rights. If you don't want a few artistic nibbles around the house don't get a house rabbit. Or get one who understands house rules like me.

Time to polish my halo.
We are frantic with worry.

Things I might do this year. Or not.

2011-01-05T16:01:00.009Z

So far my New Year list of things to do is going to plan and am allowing J to pick me up to cuddle me more often. It's a bit scary when I see her hands coming down but I close my eyes and try hard not to run away. Once I'm up there it's not so bad. We cuddle first thing each morning for quite a long time, in fact I usually drop off to sleep up against her shoulder while I'm being stroked.
I used to hate it and it's taken me 8 and a half years to come to terms with it but there you are. I am a companion animal after all so maybe the time has come to behave like one.

I won't have it any other time of the day though. Absolutely not. The rest of the day is mine and I like to stick to a routine. Routine is the thing a rabbit needs. Fortunately I have an excellent memory and an acute sense of timing and I can tick off my daily list of things to do in perfect order. You will all know what they are by now. First thing eat slice of carrot, cuddle, eat slice of banana, bottom check, eat miserably thin slice of carrot as reward. Poo. Settle down for nap until main breakfast. Line up pellet food and greens and lie between them in case of marauders. Nap. Eat, nap.Eat, eat nap, eat, nap. Nap, eat. Sleep all afternoon. Snore loudly. Finish off any leftovers then into sitting room for TV, hay box, new hay bag and long cuddles on floor.

When I was younger I used to do a lot of hurtling round the house but I will be nine in six months so I'm starting to take it easy.

I might go outside when the weather warms up a bit and depending on Molly, the cat at the bottom of the drive. She has been particularly cheeky lately and has been coming up to eat the bird food. Don't tell me cats are fussy eaters! It all depends on scarcity value if you ask me and being jealous of my feathered friends when they come down to peck. She wouldn't admit it to the humans she lives with of course. She would turn her nose up if they tried to give her dry crusts and bacon rind but put it down for the birds and all of a sudden it's her most favourite thing. I expect she is sick when she goes home but it doesn't put her off.I had to baby sit again today. I'm teaching Edward to throw things around. He's crawling now and came into my very own hutch space under the table. I'm not sure I was all that pleased but if it's the only way I can give him lessons then I am willing to share. He threw my dozing mats around reasonably well and I tossed his toys in the air with my usual expertese. Then we went into the sitting room and played with my hay bag. I was the first to give in and hopped back for a doze. I am much older though.
I made a new friend recently. Her name is Jessica and you can see her photograph if you click onto her message at the bottom of my last diary entry. She has a very smart coat in my opinion.

Time for a nap.

Another one over.

2010-12-27T10:44:00.009Z

Well, Christmas is over and I haven't put on a gram in weight so why is the family huffing and puffing around the place? All of a sudden my vegetables have become very popular and they are eating my salady stuff as well .My herbs and celery sticks are on their plates as well as their own food. The only thing I ever beg from them is the odd crunchy nut cornflake. Oh and a cream cracker. Oh and maybe a smidgeon of rich tea biscuit. Oh and definitely Banana. Well, it's good to share.
I tried the snow! Fantastic stuff. If you try to eat it, it disappears as you go along. I was like a little black snow plough but they were too busy giving my special sultanas to the birds who gobble them up with one swallow instead of nibbling and savouring the way I do. Guess what I got from Santa? A big bag of my favourite mixed cereal.It's in the sitting room so I can duck my head inside and nibble while I pop out again to watch TV.

I wish all the rabbits in the world could have had a Christmas like mine.

Vertically challenged?

2010-12-11T19:19:00.012Z

How could they get it so wrong? Call themselves experienced rabbit owners? Pooh! They now tell me I'm not what I thought I was. I'm not a dwarf lop after all. I'm a mini lop. Is that bigger or smaller?

Oh dear I feel so insecure.

It's all to do with my weight. Dwarf lops are heavier than mini lops. I'm only 1.5 kilos and that is mini weight. On top of this news, my vet thinks my face should be a bit more pointed as a mini lop and my beautiful visage is as flat as a pancake! What terrible mix up. Am I just a mongrel?Oh, dear, I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. Should I get a second opinion do you think? Maybe Harley Street? Can I afford it with Christmas just round the corner? Oh, well. Who cares. It's banana time. They love me after all! They don't mind if I never win a beauty contest. They still think I'm the most precious thing in their lives! And I am!!Life is so.o.o.o good so I'm off to deck the halls.

Roger Rabbit

2010-12-01T15:27:00.005Z

Vets again today. Every six months I go to the vet for my Myxie jab and every time I grumble about the same thing. The dreaded scope. I hate the thing in my mouth. Vaccination fine, bottom shave fine, weigh in fine, tummy squidge fine but the teeth. NO.But I'm never going to grumble again because today I met Roger. Roger is deaf and he has had a stroke. Now he has a sore eye where they think some hay dust or maybe a piece of sharp hay has scratched it.
Yet Roger is a lucky bun because his human mum loves him very, very much. He loves to be nursed and cuddled as often as possible. He lies blissfully on his mum's knee and will probably be able to feel her heart beating and the vibrations of her voice when she talks to him. He has his own duvet next to a heater so is always warm and cosy in this weather.
I thank the Great White Rabbit in the sky for my health and happiness.

Tittle Tattle

2010-11-23T13:13:00.007Z

I have a new bed. It's for cats really and it's made of special stuff so they can't scratch it to pieces. Works for me too. I can scrabble all day and try to pull it with my teeth but it stays the same. Word was that I wouldn't go near it for weeks until I got used to it but I fooled them all by diving straight for it and settling in. Mmmm, it's perfect for winter snoozes. So snuggly. Someone keeps trying to cover it with one of my cuddle towels to keep it clean but I soon toss that out of the way. Well, black on white looks so classy don't you think? These two buns here belong to my friend Edward. Their names are Spike and Poppy and I hear they quite like to look after Ed. When he learns to crawl they won't be so happy you mark my words. Once he can reach them and pull their fur they'll hop it pretty smartish. They were there first so I know they are the bosses. They have a fantastic hutch to run to for peace and quiet if they choose.
The hay in my play bag is going down and I have to put my head all the way in to get to the best bits. What's so funny about my splendid bottom sticking out while I scrabble? Oh, well, if it gives them some pleasure to laugh at me let them get on with it.

Harve, we are waiting for a new huge bag to arrive. Be patient.

Another good idea.

2010-10-23T10:31:00.014+01:00

One thing this old bun has learned is that if you want to train your humans you have to change your mind set. Forget about being a lagamorph. For a house rabbit like me, stamping is no longer a sign for danger as with my cousins in the wild. No, foot stamping is for getting immediate attention. It now means Pronto, Subito, Imediatement and other foreign words of that ilk.

Last night, when I had nothing better to do, I decided it was bedtime for the old folk so I shot upstairs into their bedroom. Usually I potter along to mine for a bit of peace but this time I had something on my mind. I gave a couple of heavy stamps on the floor above them as only a rabbit can and waited. As sure as eggs are eggs up came my human mum. Right on cue. I stared very hard at her until she got the message and lay down on the bed. Good girl! Then I ran over and flopped out by her side for the night. Done!That was the successful part. Suddenly, not at all according to my plan and just as I had closed my eyes, she got up grabbed me and carried me downstairs. Not so good but an achievement in part for rabbit kind. I wonder where I went wrong.

I'm running out of training ideas. Any new ones will be gratefully received. Something to encourage a constant supply of juicy raisins would be good.

Harve's complete faith and conviction that I will understand his wishes is quite astounding. Staring at closed doors, sitting with his front paws in his empty food bowl, waiting patiently at the foot of the stairs until the rug he uses for take off is put in place, pushing his face into my hand so I will cuddle his head and stamping for immediate attention whether it be for banana, which he can smell at a hundred paces or his running entrance into a room to tell us he has arrived. Why do I still find it so strange after eight years?

A family friend refers to him as The Cog. A combination of a cat and a dog. He encompasses the habits of both of these with a little more intelligence.

People still keep these wonderful companions in hutches.

Superbun.

2010-10-15T17:40:00.010+01:00

I'm going to enter the fire tong throwing section of the Olympic Games. Nobody will believe a small ball of powderpuff, black fluff like me can toss heavy, sooty, fire tongs. It's best to do it across the cream carpet so they can easily check the distance because there's a black mark where they land. I bet I win the feather weight class.
My carpet fringe has disappeared. It's been tucked under so I can't tug and chew it so I have to do something. Tong throwing seems a good way to strengthen my neck muscles. Nobody here seemed very impressed but they didn't take the tongs away until my second throw. I don't think they believed it the first time.

This is Edward. He came especially to see me today but I kept my distance. He kept waving his arms about because he is only five months old. I wasn't quite sure whether he could reach me or not so I kept the chair between us although I did go over to sniff him once. He was quite nice for a human kitten but he couldn't binkie. I could at that age.

Campaining Day.

2010-10-10T13:11:00.007+01:00

I had to look after things at home again today while the other two helped out at The Rabbit Welfare Association stand at the Veterinary Nurses Conference.

We are desperately trying to get people to join so they can spread the word about so many important things people should know about rabbits. If you join you get four fabulous magazines a year and all the information you need to know about bunnies in the house and in the garden. The main problem is the size of hutches. People put their rabbits in hutches that are far too small for us. We need a house which is at least 6 feet by 2 feet by two feet. Then of course we like a run so we can binkie and improve on our running speed. I'm the best speed runner in the world but I get plenty of practise in this house. Well, I could miss something exciting if I were too slow.

I heard that in Germany there is already a law to make sure hutches are big enough. Maybe in Holland too but I am waiting to find out about that from a Dutch friend.

If you join the Rabbit Welfare Association there is a helpline in case you want to ask questions.

Anne Mitchell came home to see me afterwards. That's Anne in the middle of the picture. Now, Anne thinks all bunnies should live in pairs but my brother didn't like me very much so we had to be separated. I did my bit to charm her, jumped up beside her on the sofa, chewed at the carpet fringe while J tried to stop me while I ducked and dived, dashed about to show how fit I am and so on. I was so proud when she said what a wonderful life I have. Well, I sorted that out myself with my training sessions for people. Quite easy if you persevere. None of those hutches for me thank you. Not of any size or shape.

Killer rabbits.

2010-09-21T13:07:00.009+01:00

I was listening under the table when the man came to get my Aga ready for chilly days. I always like to listen in when somebody comes. He said he had heard on the TV programme called QI that trappers in very cold countries who tried to get through the winter by living on rabbit meat alone died of malnutrition. Sounds good to me but I wonder where Mr. Fry heard that? Has anyone else heard it

Mind you, I don't think I could live on just grass. One food only wouldn't be very interesting. Even my cousins in the wild manage to find a bit of variety.

I have a small worry at the moment because my favourite things are apple leaves and they are beginning to fall in my garden. Along with my baby greens, sweetheart cabage and, yes Lennie, yummy peaches, I have a wide assortment of stuff to munch. It changes every day so I always look forward to my meals. I hope I don't lose all my apple leaves.

I'm still snoozing quite a lot. Most of the time in fact. My second in command is the same. We are very happy hanging out together.
Got it!!!

The only solution is to pee.

2010-09-08T08:58:00.008+01:00

The signs are there. Travel basket with a fresh cuddle blanket inside and my facecloth with a blue bunny on it which smells of me. You can bet your bobtail it's ...............

VETS!

Weigh in, then bottom shave which = being left to look after the house while they go away which = Pauline and Bev which = more treats which = more time to doze during the day instead of that continuous chatter and kisses. Not bad at all.

It's just getting through the scary vet visit and makeover that's the worst and the feeling of complete helplessness when the 'scope is forced into my mouth for a teeth check. The scales are slippy so I can't get a grip for an escape leap. Awful. I'm used to being upside down for a bit while my rear end is dealt with every day so the shave is tolerable.

I was so scared in the waiting room that I peed on my fresh bed and was shaking. J picked me out and cuddled me and whispered in my ears which made things a bit better. Normally I don't like sitting on her lap but at times like this I love it because I know she understands and it makes me feel safe.

To crown it all, I was referred to, yet again, as a geriatric rabbit.

All done, anyway. Best to forget about it and drop a few hints about getting my dish filled up. Hello? Anybody there?

Carrot-free zone.

2010-08-13T07:49:00.041+01:00

I've gone off carrots! It's official. Maybe not for ever but I'm putting it in my diary so I will remember. I thought I might write to the papers. " Rabbit refuses to eat carrot." More interesting than the stuff they publish most days. I rip them up if I find newspapers on the floor.

Carrots go with rabbits. Always. So, what's left for me? Well. there's.....

......homegrownbeanleavespeatopscarrottopsfreshgreenssweetheartcabbageflatleafparsarsleymintappleleavesbananasandsoon. When the dish is empty, I sit in it. I can get most of me in there and when they spot me, they fill it up again. Nothing to it.

They are talking about it here of course. Is it his teeth do you think? Open his mouth and have a look. No, you open his mouth. He doesn't like it. Should we take him to the vet? No, if it were his teeth he wouldn't be able to eat his crunchies and he is eating his hay which he wouldn't do if his grinding teeth at the back were troubling him. We'll wait and see then.

Phew, no vets. I hadn't thought of that.

My bedtime carrot is still left beside my dish when they put the lights out but somebody gets rid of it during the night. Hmmm.

Heard from my friend Lisa, yesterday. She has a lionhead bun to keep her house in order and help her run her Hay Experts business. She was very worried the other day because she couldn't find her. Eventually, she looked behind the sofa and Noonie had chewed her way into the back and was fast asleep inside. I think that beats my frilled arm cover. I'm so jealous. What a bun!!

As far as the carrot thing goes, why shoudn't I go off things? People do and after all, I am just a furry person after all.
What's this? Diving board? Chewy mat?

Can rabbits count?

2010-08-04T08:59:00.007+01:00

Anne Mitchell, who is the most important person in the world because she runs the Rabbit Welfare Association, says rabbits can't count. Is she right? Does a doe bun know how many kits she has? Would she go looking if she found she was one short? Would she really know if one were missing?
Birds know. They spend hours in my garden searching for babies once they have left the nest.

Our old labrador could count but only up to three because she was the fourth member of the family and she could only see three others. If J gave her 4 little biscuits she used to take three of them away under the stairs then only come back to look for more when she had eaten them. If she was given three, she didn't bother looking for more.I've been given a pot of green buttons from Waitrose to count but I just knock it over when it's put in front of me. We are saving them for a rabbit charity although the collecting box is a long time coming. We have given Waitrose lots of information about the Rabbit Welfare fund and how badly rabbits are treated and how people like Ingrid Tarrant are great supporters of buns so we are hoping for something. If you have a Waitrose nearby you could ask them to include rabbits in their list. Dogs and cats seem to do very well with collections but rabbits seem to have been ignored. Shame on you, Waitrose.

One, two, seven, twelve, nine..............zzzzzzzzz

Rabbit Welfare Association and Fund
PO Box 603
Horsham
West Sussex
RH13 5WL

Birthday portrait.

2010-07-17T10:52:00.021+01:00

I am eight and this is my one hundredth entry in my diary so it's a very special day. As nobody knew my exact date of birth I celebrate for the whole of July. Well, I try to.

Now, do I times by ten or by seven? If it's ten then I am eighty but if it's seven then I'm only ummmm, would it be sixty four? No. That sounds like a song.

Anyway, I'm still as fit as a fiddle and can still jump as high as a kite and can run as fast as a ....rabbit. I get plenty of practice in this house.

I was to have a birthday portrait done but only on condition I would allow J to groom me before hand. Nope. Not for a hundred birthday portraits. I don't mind my head and ears brushed gently but no further down my back thank you very much. We buck rabbits have our pride. Doe buns might like to be titivated so they can attract good looking chaps like me but not yours truely. If I can't get to some bits to straighten then they have to stay fluffy. Rabbits don't get fur balls like cats, thank goodness. Well, rarely.

Eight is a good age for a rabbit. My cousins in the wild rarely live longer than eighteen months,or so I read in a book. This is my pensive look by the way.
I might take a short nap now. Napping is one thing you are allowed to do when you are as old as I am.
Before I go, I thought you might like to see my latest artistic creation. I did it all by myself on the best sofa. I know George will like it. He loves frills.

Happy birthday to me.

Parisian chats.

2010-07-09T12:25:00.019+01:00

They've been away again which pleased me no end because they arranged for a friend to come and watch TV with me in the evening. I still had my usual maid, Pauline, who deals with things in the morning. The best bit was, Bev didn't know how much carrot I am allowed so I OD'd on it and put on a few grams .

All in all, they were delighted because I had been losing a smidgeon in this hot weather. Bev said, "He likes to be hand fed doesn't he?" You betcha!
Mind you, she sent a text message to my lot in Paris complaining about how loudly I snore. Did she have to mention it?

Talking about putting on weight, what do you think of Mimi's friend, Tom Tom?

It must be difficult to get enough exercise being an indoor, apartment-living cat but he can still jump up onto kitchen benches.

Mimi keeps telling TT he should not be trying to steal croquettes from her tin because he's too fat but the problem is, Mimi is bi-lingual and is speaking English while TT just speaks French. I think Dani, his mum, should teach him a few phrases before she takes him to Mimi for his holidays or maybe Chachat who lives in Edinburgh could give him a few words of advice. I think she speaks French. Now, yours truly can fly through the air like a puff of wind. I can't imagine TT will ever be able to do that.

Midsummer.

2010-06-19T21:06:00.044+01:00

We had rain on Midsummer day and it was a bit blustery so I stayed home to look after things while the other two went off to visit Twigs' family of eighteen rabbits, some hens and a couple of tortoises and to nibble on the carrot cake in the garden.Parsley is a very sensible chap and when the rain hurtled down he took to his shelter and watched things from the comfort of his garden house. Wet paws and fur are something I hate too.

I had news about them all. Damson is recovering nicely after his operation to remove a kidney stone but was resting in the nursery sick bay today to make sure he didn't get underfoot.

Viola Rose is looking very beautiful again now she has completely recovered from her myxie attack. It was an uphill struggle even though she had her jabs. Twigs and Steve had planned to go on holiday but the morning they were due to leave Viola Rose went to them and showed them her streaming eyes and nose.

so they unpacked their cases and stayed with her.

Her great love is Mistletoe Snowgoose. You can see him here with Viola Rose. He was bought from a pet shop when he was small. The pet shop owner said he would love to live alone in a hutch on a balcony. Well! How ignorant is that? Six months later he turned into a large, powerful, hormonal fury. Not the pet shop owner, Mistletoe Snowgoose. Anyway after one or two problems someone told Twigs about him because Twigs knows how rabbits should be kept.
One thing is a bit of a worry though. Steve sent me a message to say bought packets of curly kale might not be good for me because of the stuff they blow into the bags to keep it fresh. I'm eating my own from the garden at the moment but I will make sure anything else from a shop is washed thoroughly before going into my bowl even when it says washed and ready for use.
We are all such lucky rabbits to have such lovely, loving homes.
In the meantime I have been digging in the corner of the sofa. First of all you have to toss the cushions out of the way, then pull and tug at the arm covers ( this takes a very long time. I've been at it for three days so far) and then the scrabbling can start in earnest. I have other things to play with but I prefer to make up my own games. I'm quite excited. I wonder what I will find when I get to the other side? There is a nice frilly bit at the edge of the cover now. I don't know who could have done it because I've been there most of the time and I didn't see anyone.

Money raised at the open day is for the RSPCA programme for rabbit neutering.

The Living is Easy.

2010-06-02T18:50:00.034+01:00

I have found outside again! Great space and so much to sort. I did a really good job of clearing up this morning. Nibbled on some fallen Ena Harkness rose petals.

and found my parsley patch, so trimmed that up too then I hopped up top to loosen the soil around my beans.

Some mallards had moved in so I did a couple of very high binkies close by and they left in a hurry. That showed them! I wrote a little poem about them.There are ducks in my garden today,
They come in each morning to play
I don't like them much
They should be in a hutch
So I'l binkie and chase them away.

There was a bit of a commotion when I discovered the sprouting carrot seeds. Just tiny little fronds ready for me to munch. So delectable but seemingly a no-no. Why sow carrot seeds if not to munch as soon as they start to sprout? That word/sound NO is not nice. When I hear it I run for home. No point in arguing. Might be picked up and thrown over her shoulder like a sack of sprouts. I hate sprouts.

Still in a tidying and trimming mood I started on the carpet fringe. My usual stretch had disappeared. I didn't eat it. I could never munch through that much. I think it might have been tucked under for some reason. Spoil sports abound in this house.
It was a full morning, so the afternoon was spent napping. Got to keep up my strength for tomorow. Who knows what is in store. Bring me that horizon! I think my favourite pirate, Johnnie Depp said that first but he won't mind sharing.
This is such a great poster for Twigs' money raising day this month. I think there will be carrot cake for tea. Yummmmmmmmm. Please come.

A pet of my own.

2010-04-24T06:30:00.015+01:00

I feel so much better on my new food regime so I've been thinking of going outside for a look around. Just thinking about it mind you. I'm not sure what I used to do out here last year. There was my herb garden and lots of chairs to sit under but I can't see them there now. Nope, I've forgotten. It all looks too big so I won't bother. Although I think that's my dandelion.I was a bit worried about the reduction in my bought, pellet food. I only have 12 grams a day now. All the vitamins and minerals I need are there and I have a huge pile of greens to start the day to get my digestive system going in the right direction. Then it's hay, a few herbs mixed in with fresh grass for tea and finally my evening carrot with a taste of apple or pear. Not a bad day's supply all in all and I have put on a couple of grams in weight too. Just in case they forget the pellets I always give a few good tugs at M's trousers while he is having his breakfast until he gets the message. He's quite bright really. In fact they both understand my contact language pretty well -for people.
It didn't take nearly as long to train my dog, Willow when I lived with Joanne. A couple of bites on her nose did the trick and my control was in the bag. You can see her ear is raised so she doesn't miss a word I say. Good dog! My rabbit friends who live with Twigs have their own tortoise. A tortoise can be very useful for finding dandelions then all you have to do is grab the flower out of its mouth. It's quite easy because tortoises eat slowly. I might ask for a tortoise for my birthday in July.

Sad Goodbyes.

2010-04-16T16:24:00.016+01:00

From Teasal for Twigs and Steve.

"And when I fall before his reaping
And when my stuttering speech is dumb
Think not my love is dead or sleeping
But that it waits for you to come."
Eugene Field

From Twigs in memory of Teasal

"Teasal was the most stunningly intelligent, gentle, handsome and mischievous house rabbit - my own favourite, who lived with us for over eight years after coming from Wood Green Animal Sanctuary. He had three girlfriends, Florence, Sage and Robinia each of whom fell in love with him at first sight. He is survived by Robinia."

We are devastated.

From Harvey

I know you will worry about your family Teasal. They will find it hard to manage without you.

Inwardly digest.

2010-04-12T16:04:00.006+01:00

I'm going to have to change my eating habits. I had a long chat wiuth my vet about my sticky caecotroph problem. When we bunnies get older our gut can have difficulties dealing with bought pellets and that is what is happening to me now I am almost 8 years old. When I came to live with the older members of my family we reduced my pellet food very slowly from 45g to 22g but now it's time to go a bit further.

I love my pellet breakfast and get so excited and sing and dash about when I hear them getting my dish ready so I am a bit doubtful about the idea. I'm to have my vegetables first instead of later in the day and every day I will be given a gram less of pellets until things are just right. My dried grass and hay and my teatime will stay the same so that is something. I will also have some pro-biotics added to my drinking water and will need to be weighed regularly.

I've only been doing it for three days but so far so good. My family keep saying things like "Oh, joy!" and "It seems to be working." My vet says there is far too much promotion of artificial food for animals. All to do with making money I suppose and humans are so easily persuaded to spend. They think they are pleasing us but most of the time they are just pleasing themselves.

I feel so much more comfortable now I am a sweet smelling house bun. I wonder if this is one of the reasons why a lot of rabbits are just left in hutches, because humans don't bother to identify our problems. We are very complicated, special creatures.

The downside for me is having to be weighed every few days in this microwave tub! Do I look too silly?

Geriatric? Moi?

2010-04-06T12:14:00.004+01:00

Just got back from the vet's. Quite a pleasant ride and plenty to watch in the waiting room. Weigh in, one and a half kilos, tummy squidge, toenail trim, bottom shave and then the dreaded tooth check. To add insult to injury, my vet, who has always been my hero until now said, "Very good for a geriatric rabbit. You will miss him when he has gone."

Gone? Where am I going? I'm not going anywhere. Huh, doctors. It's bad enough living with a pedantic, people doctor but I didn't expect any comments like this from a real one. Oh well, time for TV.

Just look at this. I had a bottle like that when I was a kitten but I've had my own bowl for years now. Don't human males ever grow up? Must check with George.

EASTER

2010-03-26T07:40:00.004Z

Square eggs?

2010-03-13T09:44:00.011Z

Well, I think I've heard everything now! There I was keeping a close watch on my space to make sure everything was put back in exactly the right spot on my mat as I do every morning while my second in command was doing a bit of a clean up when he suddenly said Why can't this rabbit make square droppings so they wouldn't roll around all over the place.
Well, to start with, the droppings as he calls them are not done on purpose. They seem to spill a bit when I jump out of my litter tray that's all and secondly this rabbit has a name! Anyway, I make them this way because it is more comfortable for me. Does he ask hens to lay square eggs?Of course he doesn't. How would he get his egg spoon into the corners if eggs were square?
In my opinion it's time my base station was put back in the utility room so I won't get so many complaints. This means the kitchen door would need to be left open for my freedom during the night and it's still a bit chilly in the back porch which they like to shut off in cold weather.
If I complain too much they might decide to get a sleeping cage for me and I wouldn't like that so it's best to suffer all the slings and arrows and pretend I don't understand what they say. I love sleeping under my kitchen table anyway. It's my eventing arena as well as my safe place.

This is my safety zone where I sleep, perfect my jumping skills and keep watch over everything in the kitchen. I'm ashamed of the dust on my table and chair legs but I can't reach very high.

A hutch is not enough.

2010-03-10T07:19:00.018Z

I've been thinking a lot about other rabbits this winter while I snooze beside the fire. I wish they could all live like me or have comfortable garden homes like my friend Viola Rose. This is Viola Rose. She lives with her large family and every summer their lovely garden is open to raise money for less happy buns.

They each have a luxury pad and their own bonded partner for company as well as the garden to play in. This is how we bunnies should live. We need to be able to hop and run and binkie whenever we feel like it. We need company and someone to cuddle up to. We need everything other companion animals have. We need a life with someone to love us and care for us just like everyone else.The bedroom in this picture is for two Netherland dwarf buns. The bigger members of the family have bigger master bedroom suites but they all have their very own playground just like this one.
Parsley is another member of Viola Rose's family. He is a house rabbit and sits on a chair beside Twigs while she writes her books. When the garden is open he and his partner have a play pen so they can share in the fun.

If you read this page in my diary please tell as many people as you can that a hutch is not enough and please, please ask people to buy their human children a chocolate bunny this Easter instead of a real one. Unless you are sure they can live a life like Viola Rose.

Keep an eye on Dr. Twigs Way's website for open days if you would like to meet Viola Rose and her family. You can sit in their lovely garden and smell the roses. http://www.twigsway.com/

Brrrrrr it's still cold

2010-03-04T07:26:00.008Z

Had a peep outside today but its too cold for me in the garden.

They say it's the damp and draughts rabbits don't like not the cold but to be on the safeside I stay away from them all. Well these experts are always doing research to prove something or other then somebody else pops up and proves the opposite. It's better to stick to my own rules I say. After a bit of firm persuasion my lot soon catch on. They know on chilly evenings I like the fire to myself. If I really stretch out I can keep them away from my warm spot and if J gets in my way I squiggle my way in between her and the fire. To get rid of her completely I just have to find a bit of her and keep licking until it drives her mad and she moves away.

Life with humans is a doddle really if you chose the right kind. That's the hard bit, chosing the right kind. I try not to think about some bunnies freezing to death in their hutches. People should have to pass exams before they are allowed to keep rabbits.

Fame on a cushion

2010-02-23T15:00:00.005Z

It has arrived at last. MY cushion. The one I modelled for. It's soft and velvety and smells new and I love it. This is going to be my special seat now. I can even watch TV from this spot.My friend Anna is one of the best textile artists there is. I think she must love me very much. You could find her at www.annasteiner.com

The art of back turning.

2010-02-19T20:03:00.010Z

I did not do it! It wasn't me and if it was I wasn't there. Somebody spilled my alfalfa all over the carpet and I got the blame as usual.There's only one thing a rabbit can do in such circumstances and that is, turn his back. If you don't want to be talked to, turn your back. If they try to blame you for something, turn your back. If you want to object to anything at all, turn your back. It might seem a bit rude at first but it's the only solution if you can't make the sounds a human makes. Back turning is an art because once you have done it you have to stick to your guns. If you give way, if they wave a piece of carrot under your nose and you turn towards it you are lost.
Then there were the grumbles while I was roootling around in my litter tray this morning. Must you make such a racket, Harvey, we're trying to listen to the weather forecast they said. For goodness sake, can't they look out of the window at the weather? Digging a reasonable space in my litter is what I do best and it takes time. Anyway, I like the noise and it keeps me in training for scrape making in the garden and it's the only way to get into exactly the right position every time for...you know what. I need to make sure I hit the right spot . It's my ritual and bunnies need rituals.

Huh! Whose house is this anyway!

Not Again please!

2010-02-04T08:44:00.010Z

In case all my friends think I have an easy life, that I live like a lord, that I am a spoilt rabbit who doesn't appreciate his luxurious lifestyle, take a look at this.Do I hear shouts of unfair to rabbits? Are you crying into your hay? Are you stamping your back foot and tossing your water dish in the air? I hope so.

They call this de-fluffing. I call it criminal.

I have carefully pointed out to them on many occasions that I will not be groomed with a a brush so what do they do? They grab me while I am dozing peacefully, hoist me onto the bench, hold me down in a half nelson with one hand and have the temerity to yank out great clumps of my beautiful, powder-puff fur with the other leaving the most unsightly bald patches near my er, tail.

Even worse, they were taught how to do this by my vet! The man I thought was my friend. The man every rabbit should turn to at least twice a year to maintain his healthy lifestyle. Well, think again friends.

Then sometimes when I look at the photograph my friend Celia Haddon sent of a rabbit in her garden in the snow with his myxi eye and his desperate nibbling of her Eleagnus bush to prevent starvation, I pull my cuddle blanket over my head and count my blessings. Moulting time is nothing in the great scheme of things is it?

January

2010-01-31T08:04:00.008Z

Sometimes there's not much to write in my diary and January is one of those times. The doors and windows are shut so there's no point in sitting on the doorstep and it's not worth climbing onto the window sill so I have no idea what's going on in the garden.

I don't mind much because my house is my domain and people-training sessions fill my days. That and bed making which is much like making scrapes so I keep my hand in ready for garden maintenance when the time comes. I can go on scrabbling with my paws and tugging my comfort blankets with my teeth for hours on end. It's very therapeutic.

Sometimes J joins in. She pulls my blanket over my head and we play Where's Harvey? Then I poke my head out and say Here I am. It gives her something to do and I quite enjoy it.

A dog came to visit the other evening and I had to stay in the kitchen. His name is Bingo. When he had gone I had to check about to see if he had been in any of my places. He had. I could smell him. He had even been on my sofa but I don't think he had any of my carrot. Afterwards I wouldn't take anything from J's hand until she had washed them thoroughly. I prefer the smell of soap to the smell of dog.

Did you forget to mention you have taken a great interest in the carpet fringe, Harve? Has it become one of your best friends?

Advice for KC and other interested parties.

2010-01-24T19:27:00.003Z

Dear Kattycat,
You ask for suggestions for rousing your family when they lie abed too long.
Ping pong balls are the answer! You can make a very gratifying noise with a ping pong ball if you persevere.
Figaro, the British Blue cat who preceeded me, before they realised a house rabbit was the perfect companion animal, once frightened off a burglar during the night by playing with his ping pong ball. My lot heard him bashing it around in the kitchen and put the house lights on. Off shot the intruder and Figgi received great praise.
Another idea is one of those food bowls with a timer. It could be primed to open early just for you if they insist on having a lie in. That could also make quite a din if you try to toss it around to open it before its time. I often throw my dish around to let them know when it is empty.
Good luck,
Harvey

Rules and regs

2010-01-18T18:30:00.012Z

In order to live in harmony with our humans there are always a few things to rethink and get straight. Once they understand basics and think they have things sussed as far as communication with us is concerned this is the time to block their vantage points.

For instance, kisses. Kisses please, they will say. Now this is ok. You push your face close to theirs and give a quick lick on the nose. However, if you hear Big, huggy kisses, you run like the wind. Run rabbit run!! Anywhere. Vantage point blocked. Why? Because you know this is going to involve being picked up, clutched to their chests and slobbered over. If you are really unlucky they will sing to you when you are at your most disadvantaged and probably unable to breath.

Then there's night-night time. Perhaps you used to give in straight away to the temptation of carrot which is synonymous with bedtime. Don't. Try to block out the carrot thought and think bed, a long time without attention. Make them chase you round the furniture, hide underneath the piano, hide behind the curtains or under a chair. Duck and dive. Pretend you are prey, or if you are a cat imagine a rotweiller one inch from your tail. You will be doing them a good turn. It's great excercise for them and they will realise you are not a pushover.This trains them to stick to the rules. Your rules. Always be prepared to alter your strategy and retrain them away from things you don't like.
Now, my PCG has decided to teach me to sit and stay when she leaves the room for a short time to collect my evening nibbles. I can and have done this many times with not very good grace. In fact I had to thump on one occasion to remind her I was still waiting so now if I get bored, I give her a minute then dash to meet her on the way back with the daily fruit ration which we share on the sofa. It speeds her up and trips her up.

Finally, It's poop check time. Well, even they know not to say THAT out loud!
It's all go if you need to keep one step ahead with the training schedule in this house.
Good luck.

Huh! Such a sneaky bun and who has started taking a bite out of several pieces of apple so no-one else can eat them?

Let it snow......

2010-01-10T18:16:00.010Z

When I have finished this small bowl I'm going to start on the big bowl. My stocks should last until the snow goes.

The utility room is out of bounds because they think the quarry tiles are too cold for my feet! Personally I think they are being over protective so I keep an eye on the door and sneak in to cool off when they aren't looking. In the meantime I'm sort of being coddled like an egg. My feet have fur on them for goodness sake and some rabbits are still living in hutches out in the freezing gardens. Why is this? Why can't they come indoors and share the fire like I do?I like to pop out to have a close look at the snow when they feed the birds because I need to keep a check on how many of my raisins are put on their feeding patch.

I feel sorry for the birds. Today a big brown labrador came into our garden and ate two cheese and raisin scones with extra fat, some grated cheese, chopped apple and a scoopful of mealworm crumble. I hope it is sick all night long.

Rabbits and hamsters should be brought into a warmer area in the winter. Water is freezing almost as soon as it is put outside. A utility room would be ideal. There are warming pads to heat up in a microwave and this should be kept up regularly. The Rabbit Welfare Association gives excellent advice on how to look after your pets in cold weather.

My gift.

2009-12-26T12:15:00.006Z

Everybody seemed to be giving other people things for Christmas but I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't go shopping by myself and I know they don't eat hay. They don't seem to play with cardboard boxes and they never share my breakfast. I don't know how to cut up fruit for them or put it on a plate. I couldn't help them to hang up decorations and I had nothing to wrap in pretty paper to put under the tree.

I was so unhappy then I had a really good idea. I could leave them something special on Christmas morning after all. Something I know they really like. Something they always wrap up and take away to keep.I left two pieces of my very own poo on the kitchen floor instead of in the utility room! It was the first thing they saw when they came downstairs and the smile on their faces told me I had done the right thing.

"Thank you, Harve," they said and gave me a big Christmas kiss.

There is no hope of Harvey realising he should eat his caecotrophs for further nutrition. He doesn't need to as a house bunny and any inherent racial memory of this no longer exists. He has none of the true rabbit needs. He occasionally goes into his cardboard box if he feels like chewing it but prefers to lie at our feet or, in this winter weather, in front of the fire or under the kitchen table where the heating pipes run. He is a perfect companion animal. Apart from the poo on the floor once a day!!

Why?

2009-12-17T11:02:00.005Z

I am a deprived rabbit. I have no hutch in the house, I have no haystacks in the house to bury myself in and I have no large bunches of carrots hanging from hooks at rabbit height in every room for me to munch on all day long.
Can I go on living like this? Should I consult the European Court of Rabbit Rights?
Why can't I have my own TV? Why do I have to wait for my tea at a certain time of day instead of when I feel like it?Even when I sit in the place they know is my teatime spot they still don't take the hint. Why do I have to tolerate my back end being checked every day? Why do I have to put up with all the hugs and kisses all day long? Why can't they keep stroking my face and ears for hours on end instead of just for the odd half an hour or so? Most of all why can't I have my Christmas sock NOW?
Harve has had a few of his old problems with his digestive system and has felt a bit grumpy and out of sorts. Probiotics in his drinking water for four days has sorted it and things seem to be back to normal.

Cushions and Me

2009-12-13T08:28:00.008Z

It's been another busy day in front of the camera. A very famous designer came to take pictures of me to use on a cushion. I was photographed from all angles so she could get the feel of a rabbit. Of course I look good from all sides but I let her get on with it and sat as still as I could for her. She wondered what the bit sticking out was when she looked at me sideways. It was my nose! I know it's pretty flat but that was gong a bit too far.Mind you, I'm used to the things humans come out with but it still amazes me each time.
If you Google Anna Steiner you can find out about her work. She has done lots of theatre and opera stuff so I might get the chance to tread the boards one of these days. I can sing reasonably well when I hear words like Teatime or Carrots. I'm sure somebody could work those words into an aria. They sing about much sillier things than that.

I'm sleeping most of the time these days. Probably because I'm going to be eight next year. We older buns are just like old dogs and cats. We dream a lot about the days when we could leap about and run about for hours on end. I still play in the evening and I'm very careful about my bathroom habits. Well, these things are important when you are a house bunny. Especially one who has modelled for a cushion.

Harvey is eating and poohing just as he should and the vet is very pleased with him but we miss the hectic, exocet missile type behaviour. The kitten days are over. He is becoming very staid but content and very loving.

http://www.annasteiner.com/

Cold Feet?

2009-11-24T10:11:00.009Z

My table is wearing socks! No, really. It gave me a bit of a surprise so I sidled up to it, sat beside it, sniffed and wandered round a couple of times in case I was seeing things but socks they were. I think it must be a new fashionable idea. I've heard the Victorians put skirts on their tables to hide the legs but this is ridiculous. It wouldn't matter so much if the socks matched but they don't. I might try to pull them off when nobody is looking. I can do it with real feet quite satisfactorily.I told one of my best friends about it. He is my blue dust-catcher who thoughtfully picks up any bits I might have mislaid. I'm quite attached to him. I like the noise he makes and I always run in to see what he is doing. He's probably some sort of relation because he smells just like me. Anyway, he had nothing to say about the socks so I am no further forward solving the mystery.

Harvey has never been a destructive bunny but he seems to have decided these feet need a good licking. Must find something else for him to play with in the evening.

Battle stations.

2009-11-07T10:42:00.009Z

They've tried it on again! There's been another Timothy Hay invasion into my bowl of dried grass but it failed miserably thanks to your hero! I like my dried grass. I'm used to my dried grass. It's just a nice, comfortable size for my mouth and I can snuggle my nose into it to breath in its perfumed delights without getting prickled by ends of hay. I can rest my chin in it while I munch. Mmmm.

It's out now anyway. I chucked it overnight so they weren't there to interfere. Sorted.

Some things I can't do anything about though. No matter how much I object at the time they still take me to see my vet. I bounce, I sing, I eat and drink, I keep myself clean, I'm a happy, healthy sober bun in his eighth year but they still do it. Why? Have they got money to burn?

This time it's for another myxi jab. I had one six months ago but the powers that be have decided it should be every six months especially now I am an older chap.. The disease is getting so clever at changing it's attack mode.Some rabbits who have had one jab are still getting infected but my vet says he has seen much less of the disease with two injections so here I am again. My treat is dried apple skins at the moment so things aren't too bad.
On top of that, they decided I should have my back end shaved. How degrading is this?

The myxi vaccine is not produced from the myxi virus but from the fibroma virus, a close relation. This means the myxi vaccine is the same every year but the virus is crafty. It mutates like human flu. It's a shape shifter. Some years it is close to the fibroma vaccine, others not. This is why when inoculated your bunny can have 100% protection one year or only 70% another. At least this means it has a chance of surviving the disease. Non vaccinated buns have no chance.

While a 12 monthly injection was thought to be sufficient it is now considered it should be given every six months which gives a higher antibody response and anyway the vaccine only lasts for 6 months.
The fleas and flies that transmit the virus are out there in town and country just waiting to feed on your bunny and inject the virus. Make an appointment with your vet now. Our pets are worth it.

The dreaded Myxi.

2009-10-23T17:16:00.009+01:00

Myxi is about again. We had email from the Rabbit Welfare Association asking us to let people know. Some humans don't understand that the virus can be spread by a bite from a flea who happens to be wandering by, looking for a cosy place in somebody's fur to spend the winter. How can we bunnies know when there might be one hopping around when we pop outside to check the weather or sneak a few of the last Ena Harkness rose petals? Better to have the jab. It doesn't hurt a bit and then I get a treat when I get home. I don't eat it straight away of course. I always leave it for a minute or two so they realise I can't be blackmailed.

My vet Simon always lets me know when it's time to pay him a visit. I will probabaly live to a ripe old age because I always do as I'm told. Well, some of the time. Well, occasionally. Well, now and then.

Anyway, we're worth it.Time to sort my space for winter evening relaxing. I'm not allowed to scrabble though. I can sort the cushions and pull the arm cover about but I'm not allowed to scrabble the seat. Can't understand their reasoning. Why can't they think like a rabbit? It works for me.

A close shave.

2009-10-13T08:05:00.011+01:00

Nose rubs are the bees knees. I just lie there in a trance for as long as I can until I hear things like Oh my back or I think I'm stuck in this position for ever. Why all the fuss I'd like to know. We're the same age give or take a bunny year and I can still binkie, speed run and creep under the bed without any bother whatsoever. Why can't they? Poor quality animals these humans.

I had a close shave last week. It makes me shiver just to think about it. Molly, the cat down the-lane sneaked in through my front door while M was packing the car ready to go away for a few days. Luckily for me she ran straight upstairs. After they left, Pauline -the-Postie who was looking after me spotted her peering through the bedroom window and chased her out. The cheek of it. I can't bear to think what might have happened if she had come into the kitchen. She is a real hunter. Cats have no consideration for other people. Now we can't leave the door open to get a blow of fresh air. It's time they were kept in hutches at the bottom of the garden and visited once a day. See how they like that!

I have been tidied up. My alfalfa spray was spreading itself about on the carpet...nothing to do with me you understand...but it's in a shoe box now. I have to jump in and out to get at it. I wonder if they think I need more excercise?

Censored!

2009-10-05T14:41:00.008+01:00

I am now Harve-the-Googleable! What fame. What world-wide appreciation and what superb literary taste somebody has. My first diary entry was in April 2007 so it has taken me over two and a half years to reach this pinnacle of success.

My family says the thing responsible for this new-found prominence is a spider! It creeps about inside my computer checking for unwholesome stuff and it found me because it thought I was something to do with human bunny girls. Of course I used to be a furry person of great sexual standing until they took me to the vet but we won't go into that.

I bet you it was an American spider. Not the sharpest tool in the shed I would guess. Anyway fame by association will have to do for now until somebody decides to publish me. I wonder if Ms Rowling has found me yet? I wonder if there are such things as rabbit bunnygirls?

Is that a sprout leaf in my dish? Yuk.

Autumn Hazards

2009-09-14T09:33:00.008+01:00

Apples are dangerous at this time of year.They fall from the sky, you know. It can be a bit dodgy if I happen to be hopping along in the garden minding my own business looking for dandelion leaves or squashed plums. Don't they know I'm a ground animal and never potter about with my head in the air expecting apples to drop in unannounced? Why should I? They should have more consideration for folk like me. It's much safer in the house in Autumn. I can climb onto the back of the sofa and stay one step ahead of things like apples while I'm mountaineering. That way I can make sure they stay firmly in their fruit bowl.

Mind you, damsons can be a bit unpredictable as well. I was quietly dozing in one of my boxes listening to them drip through thier muslin cradle over the sink ready to make damson jelly when suddenly they took off, flew through the air and splattered everything. The mush hit the walls, the floor and my boxes. It smothered M who was getting jam jars ready and oozed its way down the sides of the cupboards. It's no good telling humans about the dangers of fruit.

They have to find these things out for themselves.

Chicken Licken knew what he was talking about.

This and That

2009-09-04T11:53:00.011+01:00

Phew. What a windy day. I was blown all up the wrong way in the garden so I scooted inside to finish my flower arrangements.

Now, I'm your man but I do like an attractive and tasteful flower arrangement. This one is called Lobster Pot. I change it about every day so it never looks the same. Good isn't it? And the special thing about it, if you look carefully, is, I can do a magic trick with it. I take a long piece of my Alfalfa King in my mouth, nibble away, whisper a couple of Abracadabras and look what comes out the other end! Neat or what? This one is called Carrot Tops in a Pretty Jug.

Not very original but it fits the bill. No tricks with this one just straight forward munching at high speed. The aim is to get it emptied as quickly as possible so it can be filled up again.

It must be sofa-cuddle time about now. I like to get there first so I'm in the middle for our shared dish of fruit. Got to have my five-a-day to keep me fit.

Toenails and Tinsel

2009-08-23T07:56:00.012+01:00

I went to my doctor today to have my toe nails trimmed. It didn't hurt but I shivered my back legs a bit just to show them I wasn't a pushover. One of my toes sticks right out at the side but it doesn't matter. I can still design cardboard boxes.

There was a huge rabbit there at the same time as me. Pity I forgot to take my camera. She just fitted in her carrier. Her head touched one end and her scut the other. It was difficult to believe she was all rabbit. Some of her could have been deer. Her family said she lives in the garden mainly and comes to her bed at the same time every night even when she hasn't been called. What a show off.

My doctor said I was very fit and and after squidging my middle put me back in my basket. He said dwarf bunnies can live longer than the larger breeds. So there. He looked a bit tired I thought. He'd had a very busy day operating on cats and rabbits which are his speciality. I'm glad I picked a specialist.

I huffed when I got home but nobody took any notice. Sometimes I wish I could talk properly to let them know I don't like going to the vet. If I get enough practice I might be able to do that so I'm going to start with a bit of stage work, just going backwards and forwards through the curtain, then I'll go on to a bit of Shakespeare.

A busy day

2009-08-08T16:27:00.009+01:00

Visitors again today, just when I was busily working on my exhibition. I'd got as far as arranging my two boxes as well as doing some extra frilling around my morning nap bed. Getting the notice fixed to the door was a bit difficult but with help we managed.

While J put the kettle on I took Gillean outside to show her my herb patch. I could tell she was impressed with my scrapes because she chatted to me for ages until J came out with the tea-pot and cups and saucers. Once they were settled I wasn't needed anymore so I hopped it.

Suddenly there was a bit of a commotion outside. J shouted to M that I had vanished and was I with him because nobody could find me in the garden. They all got into a tizzy until J checked the time and asked if I had gone in to watch the news. M came to look and found me. For some reason this made Gillean laugh a lot. What she found funny about me going in to watch the news I can't guess. I do it every day at the same time and was sitting patiently in my usual place waiting for someone to switch on the TV. Nothing funny about that .

Humans are an odd lot.

Rabbits in the garden.

2009-07-22T17:34:00.012+01:00

These rabbits are in my friend Celia's garden and she can watch them play through her window. I haven't met them but I would like to. They don't have anybody telling them what not to do all day. Lucky things. I think I've worked out why it's so hard for me to clean myself properly. Just look at the shape of their faces then look at mine. Flat as a pancake! They have such nicely pointed heads so they can reach all the places a rabbit needs to reach to keep clean. Mind you I wouldn't want to stick my face down there so it's ok. I think I am much more adorable the way I am. Yesterday was a bit worrying though. They shut me out of the house by mistake and I was all by myself for hours. I could have starved to death if I hadn't managed to stay alive by eating bean leaves. And parsley and mint and rocket. It was tough but I managed it. I wonder whether I can persuade them to shut me out again today.

It was all of half an hour Harve. Don't exaggerate. We realised as soon as you weren't bobbing up and down in front of the television screen preventing us from watching the 6 o-clock news.

Lisa, Alison and Me

2009-07-14T19:52:00.018+01:00

This is my friend,Lisa. I had some new hay from her. You can see some of it stuck in my willow ball. Good stuff to nibble. You can find Lisa on http://www.thehayexperts.co.uk/

I was my naughtiest ever last week. Alison came to stay and slept in my bedroom with me and guess what I did? At five-o-clock in the morning I thumped. Over and over again I thumped. I thumped for an hour but she wouldn't get up. My hay and water bowl were with me so I carried as much hay as I could over to my water bowl and stuffed it in there until it spilled over. Then I pooped outside my litter tray but she still didn't get up.

Now, I love Alison but there are some things I just won't share. One of them is my bedroom.

I've definitely blown it because she was going to give me a PhD for my work on my diary because that's her job but she says I can't have one now. Professional hay Devourer I would have been and I could have put the letters after my name. I'm a bit upset. I wish I hadn't done it now.

Anyway, the good news is my vegetable and herb patch is doing well. I keep a check on it- make the odd scrape to keep the soil in condition and so on. I never nibble stuff unless it is in my bowl though. Well. you have to keep standards up when you are a house rabbit. Except for the business with Alison. Oh, dear!

Place your orders

2009-06-16T21:22:00.011+01:00

Place your orders here please for H B Rabbit Cardboard Box Inc. Windows and Doors a speciality.Artistically designed to your own requirement. Tracy Emin eat your heart out.

My friend Celia sent me this willow ball. Good fun if things like grapes, hay or strips of carrot are stuck in it. Must tell her how quickly they disappear. She bought it in outer space I think..

I told you so

2009-06-05T16:04:00.003+01:00

I told you so! I knew it. I knew it I knew it I knew it! I've been to have the dreaded Rearguard and have been huffing with my face towards the wall for hours. I tried to hide up J's jumper but could only manage to get my head there with my bum sticking out so the vet got me! How did he know I was there when he couldn't see my face? Darn clever these cat and rabbit specialists.Anyway it's over and done with for another year so I can relax without the worry of being eaten alive by fly maggots. It only seems to be sheep and bunnies that have the fly strike problem. There'll be extra parsley and rocket later and maybe extra carrot. Anything with a strong flavour will take the nasty taste of that Rearguard away. Might even get a sniff of a digestive biscuit. Just look at what I had to put up with.

Ready for summer

2009-05-16T11:08:00.006+01:00

Mr Sparkle came to clean my kitchen rug today. I tried to help him but I was scooped up and put in another room. Somebody always spoils my fun. I was just trying to tug his sheets and put them in reasonable order. This is one of my specialities. He asked if they were sure I wasn't a soft toy. He also said he sees quite a lot of house rabbits and they jump out at him when he least expects it. I was pleased about that. That's another of my specialities. Jumping out at people.

There is a sniff of bad news in the air. My rear end is being checked more than once a day which means either the dreaded Rearguard is imminent or they'll take me for another shave. I hate Rearguard. It makes me feel poorly for a couple of days or so. It's all those chemicals I expect but I have to clean myself, don't I and that's when I lick the stuff. I only have it when they go away in warm weather which is also bad news although I stay in my own home and have servants who take good care of me. They are all well trained, for humans and I am so irresistibly cute they do whatever I tell them so it's not so bad. I wonder when I will get a holiday? I'm going to think about where I would like to go while I have a nap.

Ducklings ahoy

2009-04-30T10:05:00.011+01:00

What a morning! The ducklings in my garden hatched and you should have heard the noise their mother made. You'd think they were ostrich eggs. I grant you fifteen babies at one time is a bit of a shock for any mother especially one who didn't think ahead and plan how she was going to get them all over a six foot wall. One dashed into my utility room to escape my PCG who was trying to get them into a cardboard box to take them down the lane to the river. I gave it one of my looks as much as to say push off mate but it hid behind my hay bowl. I have to admit they were all very good speed runners although they were only a few minutes old. What chaos!

We managed to catch fourteen of them as well as the mother duck so the garden is all mine again. Don't know what happened to the fifteenth.

I got my spare bed ready in case it needs to stay for the odd night. It takes quite a long time to get the blankets just right for a duckling. I hope it doesn't sit in my water bowl.

Identity crisis

2009-04-11T16:04:00.012+01:00

It's Easter and I'm a bunny. An Easter bunny. At least I thought I was so why isn't my name on at least one of my dishes? My two big hay bowls say DOG. My crunchie dish has a picture of a cat on the bottom and the bowl for my greens is covered with chickens! It's very confusing and a bit depressing when you think about it. Obviously they can't love me enough to buy a dish for me with a rabbit on it. I've been given all the old cast-offs, all the old hand-me-downs.

Oh well, as long as they keep putting food in them I mustn't grumble

So that's why you toss your dish around the floor! We will look for a bowl with rabbits on it, Harve.

In trouble

2009-03-01T11:28:00.008Z

Oh boy, am I in trouble. First of all I flicked the lid of a dish someone had put on my window seat look-out and accidentally chipped a bit off. I only wanted to look inside in case a bit of carrot might have been hidden there. After all they're always hiding tasty things in different places for me to find in case I get bored. How was I to know it was a special hundred year old tureen? Who wants something that old anyway? What's the use in having something in the kitchen if there's no food in it? Pointless.

Then I wrecked the humane mousetrap by tossing it about in the utility room on the tiles. I could smell some delicious cereal inside and why should the mouse have it instead of me? It was on the floor, my floor, so it should have been mine. Anyway, it's broken now so I'm going to forget all about it. It's all their fault for temptng me to hunt for food in odd places.

I tried to make up for it by helping the plumber but I've been hiding most of today. They won't know where I am and they'll regret shouting at me when they think I've left home.

Back to normal

2009-02-19T10:59:00.005Z

More visitors so more work for me on the entertainment front. It's all a bit much for this ageing rabbit especially the lack of respect the uninitiated can show regarding the preferences of house bunnies. One of the first-time guests actually tried to pick me up but I niftily shot through his fingers before he had the chance to haul me into the air. The nerve of it but as you know I never hold grudges so I allowed him to give me a decent sized piece of carrot after a minute or two to let him know he was forgiven. That's one thing he learned. Rabbits are ground creatures and hate being waved around like the Union flag. I expect he thought my beautiful lop ears were wings and was trying to get me airborne. Funny things humans and this particular one was from Norway. They probably don't have rabbits in those foreign countries.

Things are back to normal now and my bedroom is free. As far as everybody else is concerned I've got 'em nicely pinned down.

Sprouts.

2009-02-08T11:27:00.013Z

My teatime is a bit miserable at present. Everything has turned white outside so there's no sweet,juicy grass and my parsley and mint are buried under a foot of snow. Just look at my garden.

And who's are these paw prints? Not mine.

My primary care givers can't get the car up the hill and out of the village to get to the supermarket

so I'm having to make do with broccolli stalks and carrot as well as my 22 grams of crunchies and my dried grass. The snag is, they've decided to hide sprout leaves under it all.Ugh! I can't stand the smelly things. I leave them every single time but she still sneaks a leaf in. Tossing my dish as far away as I can when I get to the sprout should be a big enough hint and it's quite a heavy dish but they still haven't got the message.

Still, it's sunbeam time again so I make do with what's on offer and then snooze in the warm patches which is usually just where they want to walk. There's always something a house rabbit can do do make his presence felt and show his displeasure. Roll on spring with it's grassy shoots and Valerian.

Cleaning, walking and digestive biscuits.

2009-01-30T14:04:00.002Z

When it's wash and brush up time I won't speak to anybody. Even if the Queen came she'd have to wait until I had finished. I might just give way for a bit of banana but it would have to be right under my nose because cleaning and titivating is a very serious and ongoing business.. I love to feel spanking clean and smelling just of rabbit then I like to finish with a long s-t-r-e-t-c-h. On the odd occasion, after my stretch I might walk a few steps or so. Bet you thought I could only hop! The first time my primary care giver saw me she was almost hysterical. "He's walking on all four legs" she squealed. Well. what else would I use for walking. I'll need to be more circumspect another time. I worry when she gets too excited. It's not good for her heart and I need to be cherished for few more years to come. Anyway, you can't get up much speed walking and your bum tends to stick up in the air instead of being neatly tucked up underneath on the floor.

What else has been happening? Oh, yes. Yesterday I found one of the most delicious things in the world. It's called a digestive biscuit. It was casually sitting there on a plate on the coffee table waiting for me so I took it. I could smell it was meant for me, all sugary and cereally and munchy. So why did she get all uptight and chase me? It fell to bits as I ran so I didn't get much more than a quick nibble. Life can be so unfair. Digestive biscuits. Mmmm. Must have a nap near the fire and dream about them.

Shove over, I was here first.

Dear Harvey

2009-01-17T08:54:00.008Z

Now look here rabbit. Put this in your diary! All this business about dogs being stupid, looking silly and what not is wearing a bit thin. You think you are the only one who has life tagged? Do you think you are the only one who can organise humans to your advantage? Well, think again. We dogs holiday in foreign countries you have never dreamed about. We swim in rivers and in the sea to our hearts' content. We go on fantastic walks, we share a bedroom with our humans and we take the best chairs nearest to a fire. And do you think you are the only species who can binkie? Take a look at this, rabbit.

You say we shouldn't wear coats and shoes. We'll have you know dogs are intrepid explorers. All explorers wear special outfits. Brave fire dogs who investigate burnt out buildings wear shoes and rescue dogs wear protective stuff. We are heroes. We laugh in the face of danger. What do rabbits do? They hide in holes and under tables.

We know how to wrap our humans round our paws just by gazing up at them. You have a lot to learn, rabbit and by the way, who was clever enough to get rid of a pesky bunny who used to take our humans attention away from us? I, Roxy! And who was Miss September on a famous calendar? I, Willow.

Think again, rabbit. Think again.

You can choose your friends but ...

2009-01-05T11:40:00.007Z

When you are a free range house rabbit mornings tend to be the busiest time. I'm never bored doing the same thing every day. I like my ritual. First I eat my smackeral of carrot, carry out my, er.., ablutions, dash upstairs to muddle my bed in case someone has straightened it, make them open all the doors so I can check downstairs rooms and let them know when it's time for my crunchies. Then I hunt for the warmest spot in the house. It could be a radiator or in front of the log burning stove or the spot under the kitchen table where the pipes run along. I've sorted them all. I was living this reasonable, sensible, intelligent sort of life until I saw these pictures. Oh the shame. Oh the embarrassment to this rabbit, how some animals will allow themselves to be treated.

I told you my dog Willow and Roxy my nemesis had gone skiing. Well, because their feet bleed in deep, sharp snow they now have snow shoes.You will cringe with me when you see this latest H B Rabbit film when they first tried them on.

I'm told they work brilliantly, their paws are fine and they even get excited when they are having shoes put on because they know they will be going outside. Dogs never cease to amaze me. I'm a patient chap but would never allow anything so ridiculous to be done to me.

I've managed to put a couple of comments on your blog, Lennie. Your photographs are splendid. What brilliant photographers your humans are. I know how stressful it is when you are a celebrity. Keep up the mad activities while you are young. Keep them on their toes.

It's a Wrap.

2008-12-18T16:45:00.005Z

I'm such a happy bunnie today. Yesterday started badly as I was taken to the vet all because my Primary Care Giver had one of her feelings which always means cat basket, car, vet. I'd hoped they'd forgotten about vets because it must be five months since I've been. Anyway, I showed my objections by wriggling about on the examination table and causing as much trouble as I could but she was right as usual. I had a flea! I knew I had an itch but didn't realise someone had set up house near my tail. The nerve of it.
Then my bum's nooks and crannies were shaved because I couldn't clean them properly as my fur was too thick. Now there's a bit of a draught but I feel free,free,free as a feather. And bouncy.
The vet weighed me. Perfect. Teeth, perfect. Eyes, superb. Ears, spot on. Tummy, nice and squishy. It's a good life.
I had my first Christmas card just for me from my friend Pauline-the-postie who looks after me when my lot are away. My sock is hanging on the Aga so all is set for the best Christmas ever because the dogs are going skiing with Simon and my Joanne so I won't be stuck in the utility room all day. I wonder how those gangly legged dogs will manage to ski? They look silly enough careering round the house and garden, legs flapping in all directions. I'd be so embarrassed if I looked like that. Oh well, we can't all be perfect.
Merry Christmas to all my friends especially to Hyperspace-George and his family, William, Smudge and Lennie.

Harve has carefully ignored one of the things the vet said. He should not be allowed beetroot sticks because they have added calcium. Rabbits don't need added calcium. It makes the urine thick and yellow and can lead to all sorts of things like kidney stones. So stick to grass and hay all you lagomorphs. And the odd carrot of course.

New Friends

2008-11-19T11:29:00.006Z

House Rabbit. Two magic words. Wherever you are just whisper them and somebody will dash over to chat. Did you say you have a house rabbit? So have I. And off we go. New friends made immediately.

I haven't met my latest lot yet but their names are Rachel and Ian. Would you believe more Canadians? Then there's Lionel, a white baby lop who is just a few weeks old. J saw a photograph of him on a mobile phone. He is an expert binkier already. Of course his human is very proud of him. I'm hoping to hear from him when he learns to write.

I don't expect he knows how to make his bed yet so that's going to be my video this time. Don't let them fob you off with hay, Lionel. Ask for some small dozing mats and a nice bright red towel to show up your white coat. Towels are good to toss around, they're easy to get into the right position for a head rest and they can be popped in the washing machine where you can watch them swish around.
They seem to be cutting down on my tea these days. All I had yesterday was a bit of parsley, a sprig of mint, a few snippets of carrot, two measley slices of banana and half a dozen sprout leaves. Oh and one dandelion leaf. I could have eaten three times as much. I think it's a plot to make me eat more hay.

Your tea was more than enough, Harve. We don't want a fat rabbit who can't reach to clean those important places although you still dash around the house like a two year old which is very good excercise.

A New Hobby

2008-11-04T13:04:00.004Z

If you have been wondering where I am I have lost my diary. It's usually beside my basket or under my big table so I can jot down notes and keep an eye on those little irritations I need to deal with, but I can't find it anywhere. Somebody has been in an extra tidying mood and interfered with my stuff.

Anyway I had to think up a new way of keeping everybody in touch with my goings on and had a brilliant idea! You'll never guess!! I've taken up film making. Harvey B Rabbit Productions! My lot think the initials, HB, sound too much like a pencil but I think it is quite impressive. Harvey Bunny Rabbit Esq. H B Rabbit CM, BSC (carrot muncher and beetroot stick cruncher). Yes, Lennie, they have eventually found beetroot sticks! I'll need help to put the videos on my blog so you can see for yourself how I spend my time instead of just reading about it. How I speed eat my herb salad. How I make my beds. How I entertain guests from behind my curtain burrow. There's a lot to being a house rabbit especially when you have free range like I do.

Mind you I haven't been allowed upstairs because the Canadian cousins have been staying again. Last time I sort of, well, peed in the corner of the bedroom they were sleeping in. It was my bedroom they were using and it was the only way I could think of to explain. The Norman always wears white socks so I decided to follow them around because they are much easier to see than the dark ones my lot wear. I think he was quite flattered.

OK. Here we go ..... Note the expert toss of the baby carrot for speed munching with my front teeth. See the way I keep my head in position so no-one else can share my stuff. There's more to this than meets the eye, it's not something to undertake casually.

Gay Paris

2008-08-26T22:34:00.008+01:00

They've done it again. They left me on my own. Three days without television. Three days without being able to sneak out the back door and snack on rose petals, bean leaves, parsley and mint. Even worse they went to visit my pen friend Half-a-tail Mimi without my permission. I'd have gone with them if they'd said, I could have sunned myself on Paris Plage or taken a boat trip.

They do a good salad in Paris, Mimi would have eaten the olives for me. I tried to explain to her once about catmint being the thing for cats but between you and me I think she needs to join her local branch of Olives Anonymous. As you know I'm in complete control of temptation apart from dandelion leaves, rocket, valerian and other bits and pieces that might accidentally get in my way at ground level but Mimi climbs on tables to steal olives and leaves them all over the floor so poor Sheila treads on them the next morning. Anyway Mimi let me down pretty badly by cuddling my Primary Care Person. In my book thats a pretty low trick but typically feline. Crafty things, cats. And she's a girl.

So I'm thinking of crossing her off my Christmas card list and sticking to George, William, Smudge and Lennie.

On your own you say, Harve. I heard you did lots of entertaining and even persuaded Pauline- the-Postie to give you banana. Shame on you!

Warning for Lennie

2008-08-11T08:16:00.002+01:00

My lot smeared lemon juice on the part of the TV cupboard I liked to nibble. HORRIBLE. Yuk!
Then they gave me a piece of apple tree branch about human finger thickness from the garden to strip whenever I made a move towards the same place. Really good for my teeth. Got them trained very quickly. I don't touch furniture now. No flavour so no point.

Harvey

Now I am seven

2008-08-10T10:00:00.005+01:00

I wrecked my basket today and scrabbled up my dozing mats into a messy heap. It felt really good when I'd finished. Sort of satisfying. Usually I don't mind when they go out but when it got round to salad time and nothing came I had a bit of a tantrum. I sat there for ages waiting in my usual place but nobody came. Oh, there was my dried grass which is delicious on the whole but there's a time and place for it and 5 o'clock in the afternoon is not it. That's the slot for juicy green grass and herbs. I like things to be regular.

Well, I'm seven now you know and deserve much more consideration. Although I celebrated my birthday in September last year that was really to mark the day I was chosen from a pet shop so I must have been a few weeks old then. It fits because my pcg has her birthday in August too and we are so much alike. We know what each other is thinking. Apart from an odd slip on her part. A lot of time and effort is saved because of this coincidental fact. I won't tell you how old she is going to be.

I wouldn't say much has changed over the years. I still have a fine head of hair and healthy teeth. I'm not overweight, my running speed is up to scratch, I can come to halt on a sixpence and binkie whenever I feel like it. I might sleep more and I like to take time over my crunchies in the morning but that's all. No, I can't say I feel any older. They would say I nag more often. That's because I do enjoy my carrot and banana and sometimes they get that wrong too. It should be every hour on the hour but they just don't understand. My young pen pal Lennie would support me there. I hope he's keeping his humans up to scratch.

Those pink things by the way, Len, can be trained to pick up any messages you might inadvertently leave behind. Good roughage for them but there is the danger you could be put outside in a hutch if the others notice. That's what happened to a rabbit I know. Beware.

How did he get his rug that far away? At least he left his teddy alone. Usually it's the first thing to take to the air.

Strike action ahead.

2008-07-30T14:08:00.007+01:00

I'm just about to go on strike. It's the only way to change one or two things whic h have spiralled out of control. My control that is.

For a start, look at the length of my grass patch. Have I a great long tongue like a cow to wind round it and pull up stuff? Cetainly not. I'm a nibbler. I start at one end and nibble my way to the other. Even on my back legs I can't reach the top of these blades so can't even begin the job. And what if there's somebody in there waiting to pounce? I've seen toads in there and spidery things.
Then there's this new thing at tea -time. I'm expected to kiss J's nose before I get my grassy, herb salad at five-o-clock. I never had to do this in the past. All because she's been reading about people clicker training bunnies then giving them a treat. Just like being in a circus or one of those wild life parks where they train parrots. Poor things. M doesn't have to kiss anybody's nose before he gets his tea. Why should I?
But what to do about it? I could refuse my salad. Turn my back as we rabbits do if we want to be rude. Nope. Not a good idea. I like it too much. I could poo while I chew. No, J would make me go outside to eat it and it might rain. I think just ignoring the grass patch is easier.
There are a couple of other ways of going on strike. I could give up standing in front of the vacuum cleaner as I always do to show them where to go next. I could throw my dried grass out of my bowl , I could eat all the baby carrot tops in the grow bag although somebody seems to have started on them already. I could binkie in front of the TV at the most exciting bit of the programme. I could learn to chew furniture. Must give it more thought.
Had my myxie jab the other day. It doesn't seem five minutes since I was in hospital. In case the vet thought about keeping me in again, I shot up onto J's shoulder to make my point. You never know with vets. I was ok though and after toe nail clipping and a tooth check we came home.
Nothing much else has happened lately. Gardening mostly. I made a bit of a scrape the other day but the soil shot up onto my middle and gave me a surprise so I ran for the back door. It's much safer inside. I only did it because whenever I went out, J kept scrabbling with her hands in the soil to show me how to do it. As if I wouldn't know. M said he didn't know which was dafter, a rabbit who wouldn't scrape or a human showing a rabbit how to scrape.
But back to strike action. I don't think I'll bother after all. What's a bit of grass between friends and I don't hold grudges. I'll carry on nibbling the carrot tops and parsley though. Oops! Hope they don't read this. They're blaming slugs and snails at the moment.
Time for tea and that kissy thing.

PS. Good to hear from you Lennie. Watch out for the kissy thing. We rabbits must stick together.

I am back

2008-06-03T18:05:00.006+01:00

I've been very, very poorly and had to stay in hospital. It was my dodgy digestive system again. I couldn't eat and couldn't poo and couldn't drink my water and had a terrible pain in my tummy. Whatever position I tried I couldn't get it to stop. Thank goodness Janet notices everything and took me straight to the vet. He gave me morphine and put me on a drip. You can still see the place on my ear where he fixed it. Then I had to be hydrated under my skin and fed with a syringe of complete food at very frequent intervals. It was awful.

We rabbits have a complicated digestive system. Most of our bodies are full of bowel and we only have tiny lungs. When I eventually got home I managed a dandelion leaf, a bit of rocket and a smidgen of carrot. M and J were so excited when I ate it so I joined in the fun and ran round the furniture. In fact I was a bit naughty that night and wouldn't go to bed when I was told. I didn't care because I felt so good. I started on my crunchies the next day and am better now. I hope it doesn't happen again. Even my vet was worried. M, my second in command, is just a people doctor so isn't much good in bunny emergencies but has been doing his bit by keeping my stuff squeaky clean in case my trouble was caused by germs.

It's great to be able to stretch out in blissful comfort under my table again. This is the life.

What a scare. The vet said he had a fifty-fifty chance and the practice was brilliant. Thank goodness for cat and rabbit care specialists. And thank goodness Harvey's a house bunny otherwise we might not have noticed the problem quickly enough.

Harvey's Song For Celia

2008-04-13T17:53:00.003+01:00

(and bunny lovers only)

There's poop beneath my table
There's poop between my toes
There's poop inside my litter tray
As everybody knows;
And if I'm feeling lazy
Or bored and naughty too
There's poop stuck to the carpet
As a special treat for you.

They coo and smile and stroke me
As I nibble on my hay
They tell me I'm a good boy
So I do just as I may;
But when I'm watching tele
Or if Celia comes along
I'll keep my poop all to myself
And sing her this new song.

Dear Smudge

2008-03-29T18:29:00.008Z

You're a girl! I thought you were a chap like me until my Primary Care Person saw you on George's blog recently. She told me all cats of your colour are female.

I don't know about you but it's been a busy couple of months for me and they didn't get me a new diary for this year until they saw one going cheap because the year had already begun.

While I'm on the subject of incompetent humans we've had one workman here after another which has meant I've been dashing about non-stop to keep an eye on my floor space, all because J turned the bath taps on and went off to check her email. Half an hour later water poured through the ceiling and my paws got soaked every time I crossed the carpet to get to the television for my evening viewing. It took days to dry out. As you know we companion animals are very fussy about our surroundings. I don't do any outside activities if it is cold, wet, windy, hailing, snowing or too hot, so having a soggy carpet inside was not at all to my liking. Then they had it cleaned and it smelt really funny, so I hung around in the other rooms and spent more time upstairs.

Then would you believe, black smelly lumps fell from the chimney and covered the hearth where I go to play with the odd log or two when there's nothing much on TV. Smoke billowed into the room and another workman came to sweep the chimney. He brought lots of interesting things for me to check out but I dashed off when he pretended to use me as a brush and stick me on the end of his cleaning stick. Everyone thought it was very funny but me. I'm as willing to have a joke as the next creature but really.

If you are still willing to believe the stress I've endured, a mouse moved into my kitchen without so much as an if-you-please. The weather has been pretty blowy but he could have asked. They put a humane catcher down with chocolates and cornflakes inside but no luck so far. He puts on a good show when he skates across the the shiny floor so I'm entertained while I nibble my hay. It makes for a change. He doesn't have much conversation though. He just might be stealing my hay for a nest, I must watch out.

Then there was the earthquake. I would have slept through it quite peacefully but my PCP came trundling downstairs, waking me up and fussing to see if I was ok. Nothing much disturbs me when I'm sound off. Not even earthquakes.

Finally, I had a sore eye, conjunctivitis, and had to go and see my vet again. It was red and I tried to keep it closed and manage with one good eye. Did I get any sympathy? Nope. "All you need now is a parrot on your shoulder Harv", they quipped and squeezed some cream in it twice a day. Not very pleasant but I was given a treat each time for being good. It's better now.

Have you got these new things called sunbeams in your house? They come through the window and settle on the floor and you can stretch out and doze on them. If you don't keep a sharp eye out they move about a bit. I expect you can pounce on them and keep them in one place. Binkying on them doesn't work. Pouncing is probably better. They are here already this morning so I'll catch one before it disappears again.

Best wishes and happy snoozing

Harvey

Auld acquaintance

2008-01-05T17:33:00.000Z

This is the last page in my diary and nobody has given me a new one for 2008. Looking back it has been a busy year and I've taught my family a lot about looking after a house rabbit. On the whole they have been quick to learn and very keen to follow my advice. For humans, that is. Janet and I are both Virgoans so the stars might have made it easier. We seem to like the same things in life, she likes gardening, I like scrabbling and sitting in the holes I dig. She likes growing herbs in pots, I like eating herbs in pots. I like turning pages in books, she likes reading them. We both like a place for everything and everything in its place. She likes bananas, I could smell one out at a hundred paces in the dark, with paws tied behind my back. We both love a nap in the afternoon. On the whole we work well together although I do more around the house, especially supervision.

I've made a lot of friends, both animal and human. Willow my dog and Summer my blue cat shared my first home with me while George and Smudge have kept in touch during my blogging. Celia Haddon had faith in my ability to write my diary and it was another family friend, Patrick, who named me "The Cog" because he spotted both feline and canine traits although there's much more to me. A rabbit is a rabbit but this new name opened up the pathways to closer observations of my activities around the house which I have shared with you. Pauline-the-Postie cares for me when the family is away and knows all my little ways and needs. My Joanne who bought me from a pet shop started me on this life of comfort and love which I still enjoy. My secondary care giver is my personal photographer and has kept a record of my life so far, catching me often in very embarrassing situations. My friend Celia says "Where love is given it will be returned." It works in our house.

Everyone should have a bit of heaven in their lives and you are ours, Harve. Shall we keep your diary open in case you find another?

My Christmas box

2007-12-22T19:50:00.000Z

All the packages, paper and lights around the place are for something called Christmas. A friend brought a cardboard box with a big label that said Harvey's Christmas box. It was full of carrots and beetroot from his allotment. The smell was like a deep soily burrow, a grassy field and a vegetable patch all rolled into one. I sat in it surrounded by carrots, my dream had come true. I dived headfirst for the biggest carrot. Mmm. Bliss. I like this Christmas happening.

My family told me a story to explain things, all about a rabbit family living together long ago in a stable full of hay. One night in the coldest part of the winter some travellers came to share the warm shelter and while they were there a human kitten was born. All the rabbits snuggled up to the baby to keep it warm with their soft fur and when the baby put its hand out to grab one of them that bunny's fur turned white. He became the Great White Rabbit who waits for us all on Rainbow Bridge.

A Very Merry Christmas

A handsome chap

2007-12-18T16:20:00.000Z

I'd done everything by 8 o'clock this morning. Punched the end flap down in my cardboard tunnel, eaten my bit of carrot, shot upstairs to check on M, completed two speed circuits through dining room, kitchen and hall, cleaned J's soapy hand and tried to pull her bedsocks off with my teeth. After a good wash and brush up there was nothing else to do but sit it out until crunchie time. How boring. Then I found this. It was on the floor ready to throw away. It was a bit of a surprise when I first saw it but immediately peered behind, saw nothing so decided to have a long look at the handsome chap therein. Me. What grace, what elegance, what ears, what glossy fur and such a happy twitching nose. It's funny how it keeps going. I don't do anything special. Seems to have a life of its own.

Not too sure about the back view. Does my bum look big?

Your diary's filling up fast Harve, only a couple of pages left.

Strange Happenings

2007-12-09T14:15:00.000Z

What on earth is this? I hope they haven't brought one of those giant rabbits to live here, there wouldn't be room because most of the house space is mine. Anyway I couldn't compete with such extraordinary sized messages. And look at the sparkles! I couldn't do that. My bits are always a darkish brown and being so fastidious I try to clear them up as I go along unless I decide litter tray action is needed, you can see a sample beside my water bowl below. Can't smell any food inside either. And something else has moved in next to my sleeping cushions. I've given it a good sniff but it doesn't roll along or make a noise. Better ignore it, it's probably something they've mislaid. My usual floor tracks aren't as clear as they should be either, boxes and bags keep appearing on my mats and some of them are too heavy for head-butting action. Hmm. There is definitely something unusual afoot.
Anyway, to important matters. I have a message for Smudge from the dottie about dog training. She says have you tried leaping from a great height, claws at the ready and landing on its face. She says it always works for her. Good luck!

Teeth

2007-11-30T12:39:00.000Z

10.40 am; visit to dentist who looked very much like my vet. Smelled just like him too. They thought I had toothache because I kept stamping my foot and moving away from my crunchies each time I took a nibble. I can't remember why I did it but Simon thought I might have bitten my tongue by mistake or a bit of sharp crunchie could have hurt my mouth. He carefully felt round the outside of my face and gums which was a bit like a cuddle to see if I had an abscess or anything unusual there, then stuck a 'scope inside but all was well. My back teeth are a smidgen long but nothing out of the ordinary. It's said you can only see a quarter of a bunny's teeth when you inspect with a torch but if you are an exceptional rabbit specialist like my vet it's more like two thirds.

When he clipped my nails he noticed there was white paint on one of them and asked if I had been helping with decorating. I was so proud when J said I'd been overseeing things. Well, there was such a mess everywhere, just look at it.

As we left the surgery we saw a very sick rabbit waiting its turn. It had myxomatosis because it hadn't been vaccinated. J looked in its cage and was almost crying as we drove home. Poor bunny. It will have crossed Rainbow Bridge by now.

Harve knows the ropes and was very well behaved.

Bonjour

2007-11-24T15:52:00.000Z

I'm so excited! I've been invited to visit my pen-pal, half-a-tail Mimi who lives in a ninth floor apartment in Paris. Naturally she's a house cat. Or a flat cat. Here she is taking the sun on one of her big balconies.
Our humans keep in touch for us so we know what the other one is up to. Living indoors means we get up to the same sort of things, eating, sleeping, hiding in various places, getting under feet and entertaining guests, so we'll have a lot in common. I'd say I'm more helpful around the house. She doesn't get so involved with what's going on and prefers to watch from a distance. The other morning about 2 am. she knocked over a vase of flowers and there was water all over the lovely wood floor. Then she paddled in it and tried to drink it so Sheila wouldn't notice but she made too much noise.

If I decide to go I wouldn't know what to wear. This beret is chic and very French but would Mimi be more impressed by English city style? And should I take champagne or onions?

I don't expect she's met a rabbit before as she was rescued from the streets so we might get on quite well. I know she'll be impressed by my manly appearance, most people are. She's quite pretty for a cat, a colourful coat with decent whiskers, I think I'll accept the invitation.

She also has teeth, Harve. And she's fast.

Comfort zones

2007-11-18T13:44:00.000Z

Another success for rabbit-kind! YES! My hints for a litter tray upstairs in my bedroom have worked. Of course I am always my usual fastidious self in my concern for cleanliness, apart from that one tiny slip-up when I had to point out to visitors they were trespassing by sleeping in MY bedroom. The first rule according to the Great White Rabbit on Rainbow Bridge is never mess on ones own patch. This meant when I was upstairs and needed the -er- bathroom, I had to leave my comfort zone, scoot along the corridor, scamper down the stairs, freewheel across the hall, long jump from mat to mat in the kitchen and hook a right into the utility room cross legged.

Now, whenever I want a spot of personal space I can stay put in my favourite upstairs room, next to the airing cupboard and above the Aga. That's three separate areas in three different rooms I can call my own. Woe betide anyone who says they're not mine!

Must dash off and enter telepathic mode to get a bowl of water up there in case of overheating, dehydration or mirages. Water ... water ... water ...

Food and drink stay downstairs you lazy bun.

Kitten days

2007-11-07T21:22:00.000Z

Here I am on my first day in my new home when I was mostly a big fluffy head with floppy ears and not much rear end.

Bet you can't guess which is me. I'm on the left of course. My brother Dylan who was bigger than me was a bit bad tempered and didn't like me much so some friends took him to live with them. He had a fenced in lawn and a large smart hutch but he was never a house rabbit. He died a couple of years ago. Sadly he ate some grass that had weedkiller on it. Poor Dylan.

I suppose I have always been a bit bossy, even as a kitten. Willow, my dog, soon got used to being told what to do, where she was allowed to sit, and when she could play with me. My game rules, naturally. You can tell she's waiting for instructions in the photograph. We were great buddies. It's nice to see old pictures and reminisce.

Harvey fell on his feet when he was bought for £30 from a pet shop. Had we known about rabbit rehoming and rescue he wouldn't be where he is today.